this whole Duggar mess is leading me to think we need to discuss the ways in which purity culture hinders essential skill-building and requires teens be secretive about their sexuality in ways that lead directly to predation

You are not allowed to be honest about your sexuality within purity culture. you certainly aren’t allowed to act on any of it. if you do explore your sexuality as a teen - something that is completely biologically appropriate - you are encouraged (shamed) to “repent and confess”

But you don’t actually have the opportunity to in this hyper-controlling environment to practice any level of self restraint. All of your motivation to remain pure is external, primarily via shame or beatings.

Once you reach adulthood or marriage, you go from a prison-like setting with absolutely zero agency to having no guards, consequences, or accountability. But you have no idea how to operate in a free setting because you’ve literally never experienced it before!

The thing about missing developmental milestones is you don’t get those neural connectivity gaps automatically filled in at a later date. In some cases they don’t get filled in at all. But now you are someone who has spent maybe a decade or more w/o any safe outlet for sexuality.

You’ve never been taught about consent. You’ve never been taught how to control yourself when you have a sexual urge that you should not act on. You don’t even have the language to express your sexual desires. And now you’re completely unchecked.

Honestly, we should be shocked more people who were raised in purity culture don’t become predators. Though the number is far higher than what we do know. We are experts at not getting caught and our default is to lie to protect ourselves.

WOW, this is a piece that i had forgotten.

within purity culture, all nudity is inherently sexual. this is why 3 year old girls are required to “be modest” so that adult men don’t become “overwhelmed with uncontrollable lust”

literally.

we were groomed to predators AND prey. https://twitter.com/sarahposner/status/1388209234786066434

This phenomenon is SO common. In purity culture, female-bodied people are always held responsible for boys’/men’s sexual misdeeds. we are told men cannot control their sexual urges, so it is our job. I was punished for being molested because i “caused a boy to stumble” https://twitter.com/mamaboo7907/status/1388335428571389956