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#Story9MonthsKi For my ref from a convo I had recently:
As someone like Alia in many ways, I related to the way she was portrayed and how she acted. Her heart was in the right place but the trauma and abandonment that followed her into her adulthood were left unaddressed.
Consequently, her insecurities stayed with her, and were only reaffirmed with bad experiences, like with Veer, the media, or her parents. Even finding out that Nandini had invested in DDS was a stab at her existence when she had tried her entire life to be good enough.
In this context, Alia as a character is actually very soft and emotional despite the hard exterior she tries to make. She cries in private, and she reminisces her bad experiences which haunt her because of no resolutions and perhaps, therapy.
This makes Alia fall very easily for people, I think. Be it for the DDS staff, Gautum, Veer, Sunita etc. you name it we see an empathizing Alia in spurts where she can't avoid her real self. Even as a child she had kindness and openness with sarang and rabia.
But at the same time, Alia's past has led to the development of her safety mechanism: to being stoic, which can be/appear rude sometimes, and to doubting every person investing love and care for her.
All this must be very burdening for her because on one hand she is really vulnerable and hungry-for-love, and on the other hand she works very hard to protect herself from further hurt by being removed from people and emotions. She acts like she doesnt care much.
It’s cognitive dissonance!
Enter Sarangdhar. She wants to push him away because of her safety mechanism as she knows he is exactly the kind of person who she will fall for. We notice this from her very first meeting with him where she fell into his arms drunk, admiring him.
Enter Sarangdhar. She wants to push him away because of her safety mechanism as she knows he is exactly the kind of person who she will fall for. We notice this from her very first meeting with him where she fell into his arms drunk, admiring him.
Throughout the show it’s not as explicit as in most other shows but she has gotten some liking for Sarangdhar. She never denies it to Rabia that he is not a good person. Nor in other times does she fail to appreciate his talent.
Her attempt to color him as rowdy and completely different from her is to stop her from even allowing herself to keep a liking for him. Insecurities and trauma have dictated her entire personality that has made her very soft yet protective and strong.
But these also have her going to great lengths to get rid of Sarangdhar by which to not let go of her independency despite her intuitions about him: her attarction towards him or trusting he’s a good person. Sarangdhar has his own flaws. That is why therapy is so important.
s9mk is interesting because a relationship doesn’t run smoothly if the partners haven’t resolved their trauma and/or emotional and mental health problems. This leads to troubles in understanding one another because one is already so preoccupied with their own (many) troubles.
Sarangdhar gave her something that no one had ever given her before: time to listen, his presence and his assurance and actions, only for her without belitting her or letting her lose her identity and power.
That’s a lot, and really something she wasn’t able to find even in herself because she still slightly blamed herself for the many wrong things that happened to her. Sarangdhar reminded her how strong she is.
Now I know in real life people say “ILU” to literally everyone (friends, family, lovers, etc.). I do. Sarangdhar’s internal monologue on love in the car alluded to this: the idea that you can love every little/big thing.
It’s not like in the movies and other popular media, books, etc. Love just happens, and you see little signs of it. I am very sure Alia had a sexual/romantic attraction to Sarangdhar which happens frequently for everyone irl. It's evolutionary.
But the experiences with him, and what I talked about above with what he gave her must have stuck with her, and tbh meant the world for her. Thus, finally all of these accumulated into her acceptance of love for him too.
Unknowingly and deeply she fell in love with Sarangdhar, and she couldn't escape or deny it. She was tired of putting up that rough exterior, and shut off her mind that kept reminding her to not fall for it.
Afterall a softie like her would fall in love in these circumstances but her superego would allow her to control her feelings. Realizing how attached she had actually gotten to Sarangdhar she let herself vulnerable in front of him.
She wanted to feel this emotion of love even if she wasn't sure of it, and despite not wanting to become weak in love. She followed her intuition that told her to confess love regardless.
Then she held onto that feeling and swam in it with her entire life because all her guards were down. This is why it hurts. For the first time, after the many years that went into Alia building herself up into adulthood she let herself go.
Only to be hurt very deeply again as she was with her parents. Veer didnt affect this much bc of who he was. Though Veer did add to her internal fires, and reaffirmed her already existing insecurities and pain from all the many years. That was her not Veer.
But seperation from Sarangdhar left her back at square one when she thought her life was changing for the better. My heart breaks for her. Today still (fitting w her character) she blames herself.
I really want to see progression for Alia. Yes, she’s strong but strong people deserve good things in life too. For some this includes a partner, and very clearly Alia still wishes to be with Sarangdhar. At the very least she needs professional help.
