if you've ever thought "I would like to read some of Ian's writing" but have also thought "I don't want to commit to a full feature or a tv pilot" HAVE I GOT NEWS FOR YOU - the website version of me has SHORT SCRIPTS you can pump DIRECTLY into your EYES https://www.icsetc.com/scripts 

You can read these absolute BANGERS (citation needed) in as many minutes as they are pages long. Wow!! You can't afford NOT to read them! Because they are free and I will bill you if you don't read them but did read this tweet and this one supporting it.

Watch some music videos! Gasp in heart-choking HORROR as you digest literal PAGES of COMMERCIAL WRITING! Press release sample? There's ONE! Several short stories? YOU BET YOUR ENTIRE BUTT WE GOT THOSE. A SMALL BOOK featuring ALTERNATE VERSIONS of those stories? YES. THAT EXISTS.

But that's not all! There's also an ABOUT PAGE he badly needs to REWRITE! And maybe he should CHANGE THE PICTURE. Why am I referring to myself in the THIRD PERSON?

Hello, this is Ian's lawyer. I apologize for the aggressive tone of this thread. Please buy the book. It's four bucks. Come on. COME ON.

You could pay more if you want, but that's a dollar a story. That's practically no dollars at all. What else can you get for four bucks nowadays anyway? A couple Topo Chicos? Yeah. You could get a couple Topo Chicos, but what are you gonna READ? EH? HUH?