1 like = 1 curmudgeonly take

Wearing a jacket with slacks is not the same thing as wearing a suit

For a great many kids, school actually is just too easy

If you want to hassle people for how many spaces they put after a period, please don't be boring

Taking a few semesters in college and going to Cancun once does not make you "fluent in Spanish"

"Because I said so" is not an invalid statement when uttered to a kid

Workplace dress codes in the US have gotten depressingly lax

Whatever kind of alcohol you prefer is not a substitute for a personality

"Because it builds character" is a good reason to do things

You're not "fluent in sarcasm," you're just annoying

Americans who think the US should be more like Europe should just move to Europe or shut up

Same with Canada

If you're American and you live in the US, commonly using British colloquialisms in your speech makes you sound like a tool

We get it. You watched Mitchell and Webb in college. Good for you

You're an adult

Nobody's asking you to be a chef, you should at least be able to cook *something*

Just because something is socially constructed, doesn't mean it's bad

If you're at a busy gas station, leaving your car parked at the pump to go into the convenience store is obnoxious

Barring an emergency, not going insanely in debt is not hard

The rest of the world doesn't exist solely so you can travel to it

People actually do live there

Old people deserve respect

No, I will not elaborate

Doing your own taxes (for most individual filers) is not hard

Most of life is stuff you don't want to do

Get used to it

Card readers for credit cards are really annoying

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" might be a cliché, but you won't be resilient if you've never had to be

"Nothing in this world that's worth having comes easy"

- Dr. Kelso

If you use the shoulder lane to get ahead of traffic, I assume you are a bad person

Resenting your upbringing doesn't make you interesting

Kids should not call adults by their first names

Your job is in fact an obligation, and you should try to be good at it

The rest of the world cannot, in fact, be expected to go out of its way for your convenience

Sometimes bad things that happen to you actually are your fault

Per the Rolling Stones: you can't always get what you want

Life is a series of choices with associated trade offs. There is no perfect solution to everything

It's actually fine to split infinitives, and I scoff at people who act like they care

At the risk of being repetitive, important things actually do require work

"All women" don't act a certain way, nor do "all men."

You just date terrible people

It's ok for movies and TV to be entertaining

Not everything needs an elaborate backstory

Firefly is wildly overrated

Sex scenes are almost always unnecessary

Not everything needs to be affirmed

Some people are just bad at things

Writing is easy

Writing well is hard

A lot of people who think they write well do not

Showing up to work on time shouldn't be that hard

Making fun of people because they like fast food is stupid

Doing your own laundry and grocery shopping

also not hard

People who call themselves intellectuals should be ignored

No, you don't "f$&(!*g love science," you like pretty pictures

"Dad history" is unfairly derided and is in many cases a good thing

It's actually ok for kids to run around outside without someone watching them 100% of the time

Not enough people in positions of power have done boring, unpleasant jobs

Expecting immigrants to the US to learn English is not unreasonable, just don't be a jerk about it

I'm not going to move to Brazil and get mad because people speak Portuguese

A lot of children today have not heard the word "no" nearly enough times

Yardwork builds character

Education does not make you better than other people

Put pineapple on pizza

Don't put pineapple on pizza

I don't care about pineapple on pizza

Speaking more than one language is good

Like so many other things, it also doesn't make you better than other people

Going to therapy: also not a personality

American culture's obsession with what young people think is dumb

Americans don't appear more cultured by using British spellings of words

You don't have to publicly talk about your family's private business

A lot of people really don't think carefully enough about how they expose their kids to the world on social media

Your children and your family are not consumer goods or status symbols

Actually, I kind of like America

I don't respect everyone's point of view

I am suspicious of people who run for student government offices

Debates are often frivolous exercises and reward rhetorical prowess over actually arguing well or being right

In many cases, failure is a choice

Porn is bad, casual sex is bad, and monogamy is good

While not morally equivalent to porn, dating apps also reduce people to consumable products

Being late to appointments is rude and unclassy

Nobody owes you a job doing what you want to do

Children who are not taught to take responsibility for their actions become adults who don't take responsibility for their actions

People don't have to "accept you as you are"

Sometimes, you actually are the problem

You owe way more than you think you do to people who came before you

In the grand scheme of things, most of us are not all that special

If you claim to like animals more than people, I will probably roll my eyes

Add "being polite to people" to the list of things that aren't hard

Dressing well is good

Dressing like you're from an entirely different era in everyday life just makes you look like a dweeb

Being a Christian means doing you are going to have do things that will inconvenience you and not be the most satisfying

(I need to follow this advice more)

Important things are usually not going to be entertaining

It's ok to just enjoy things

Don't tell me I have to watch or read something and make it a homework assignment

People whose personalities are confined to their politics are tedious

People who practice a religion should at least try to believe in it

Complaining about your spouse is usually bad

"Your bespoke diet" is also on the list of things that don't substitute for having a personality

Your pet is a not a child

"We're pregnant"

No

I've said this before, but self-written wedding vows are bad, not just because a lot of them are badly written, but because some of the couples that do this act like they invented love or something

Not everything is or needs to be accessible

Some things are just hard to understand

A lot of people think being rude and being confident about it is the same thing as being assertive

You do not have a "grand-dog"

No

No

NO

NoNoNoNoNoNoNo

No

"Boys will be boys" is an acceptable sentiment provided it is confined to things like "he's climbing that tree we told him not to climb" and not literal sexual assault

Two-parent and multigenerational homes are good

American food is good

We are not a nation of haute cuisine, but our folk culture does make some good food

Your grandmother was right:

Saving your money is good, don't spend it on things you don't need

Relaxation and recreation are good

Idleness is bad

More people should wear ties

Using holidays as an opportunity to lecture relatives about politics really just betrays contempt

Old art and architecture is good

Barring serious illness, you should be able to take care of yourself when you're sick

Basing your personality off your favorite fictional universe is silly

Being well educated doesn't mean you're particularly insightful

Gently mocking people is ok for purposes of keeping them humble

Making people feel bad is ok if they deserve to feel bad

You do your kids a disservice if you refuse to discipline them

People don't deserve praise for meeting the bare minimum expectations of behavior expected of a decent human being

Self-care should be more clearly delineated from laziness

Add "learning to read an analog clock" to the list of things that aren't hard

The amount of apathy required to fail a high school class these days makes it harder and harder to call getting a diploma an accomplishment

Cover your mouth when you yawn

Your feelings are not always valid

Sometimes, you are wrong and selfish and should feel bad about it

Classical music?

Also good

Rewarding mediocrity begets more mediocrity

most tattoos are unsightly

#sorrynotsorry

astrology is cringe

If you're American, there are better hobbies than talking about how much you hate America

Expensive weddings are usually pointless

I will start caring about opinion polls of what Europeans think about US politics when somebody calls me to ask what I think about politics in Luxembourg, or something

Events should start at the time the invitation says they start

Whoever is driving the car gets to decide what music is playing

I am not obligated to validate other people's bad decisions

Leaving your spouse so you can "come out as polyamorous?"

incredibly cringe

and bad

don't make commitments you have no intention of keeping

people who travel a lot are not a superior subspecies of human

drinking a lot of coffee is actually pretty normal and is not unique

treat other people respectfully and also act like the kind of person who merits respect

as my mother says: life isn't fair

Everyone else acting like an idiot in no way requires you to do the same

Writing thank you notes is good

Your life is not a movie and you are not the main character

Chewing with you mouth open is gross

When it comes to announcing you are having kid, or the gender of said kid, you can always just be normal

If you have to ask strangers on line "AITA?," there's a good chance you are

Photographing or recording people in public is usually bad

Posting it online is worse

boys and girls are different

Many is the time when the best thing to say is nothing at all

Most of us don't know anything about anything

It's ok not to be equally upset about every bad thing happening in the world

Someone not wanting to date you doesn't make them bad

Most thing are, in fact, not about you

Not everything we want to happen is going to happen quickly

mocking "flyover country" is poorly-concealed snobbery that would be considered gauche if directed at nearly any other part of the world

adults should have enough respect for children to not take everything they say into serious consideration

American monarchism is mostly performance art

the biggest difference between smart people and dumb people is that smart people tell themselves more complicated lies

communism should be taken seriously as a political program

deadly seriously

You're not a traditionalist, you just like pictures of white girls in wheat fields

Not liking popular stuff also does not make you interesting

reading the Bible is good, actually

Firm handshakes are good

Purposefully squeezing the life out of someone's hand is not

If you view your friends only as stepping stones, you don't consider them friends

The facility with which you can quote movies and TV shows is also not a personality trait

Asking people to pray for someone is not an excuse to gossip

"He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him."

Proverbs 27:14

The existence of schools is predicated on the idea that young people don't know what's good for them

This is true

If you're a K-12 teacher and you're learning a lot about your content area from your students, you probably shouldn't be a teacher

If you don't know something, you can always just read a book

grilled meats =/= barbecue

Pronouncing non-English words with an exaggerated foreign accent while speaking English makes you sound absurd

Historical texts in English should translate non-English quotations

Helicopter parenting is a national security risk

non-Americans who criticize Americans for only speaking one language?

cool story, bro

People who like to drag historical figures should at least know something about them first

Somebody telling you they like something isn't an invitation to lead a graduate seminar for them on why it's bad

"Actually using your turn signal" is also going on the list of things that aren't hard

Eating some fruits and vegetables won't kill you, for crying out loud

Everyone should get puked on by a baby at least once

Just because you lack the curiosity to imagine you might be wrong, doesn't mean you're right

Getting drunk is bad

If you think you have brilliant idea and are baffled as to why nobody has had it before, there's a decent chance you just haven't looked hard enough

Needing an elaborate expanded universe to explain your plot holes is likely a sign of lazy writing

Stop hassling me about how much salt I eat

I do not care

I will put whatever I want on my hot dog, thank you very much

What sports teams you like are also not personality traits

Medical billing is witchcraft

Dealing with the IRS should be easier

In moderation, shame is good

People aren't always out to get you

Sometimes, you're just a jerk