I understand this all too well. Skipped high school grad, felt a huge relief when grad was canceled last year because of covid, kinda wishing UCT does the same as well this year for my second degree. https://twitter.com/dansmywholename/status/1388173852778303488

And I ALWAYS feel so weird when people ask me for help with their school work because how is it possible that I know more than them, that I understand this stuff better than they do? So I don't contribute as much as I can during lectures because who wants to hear me speak, right?

I do not want to be celebrated. Maybe I do, I don't know. What I do know is that the anxiety that comes with thoughts of all those celebrations, the fear that these achievements won't lead to anything, that they are not enough and will never be, won't let me rest or bask in them.