Yeah, my Friday night is totally going to be me, out having a few drinks, get drunk, take my top off, have unprotected sex with a stranger, and get knocked up, maybe commit a misdemeanor while I’m at it.

As ya do.

Stop 1 - filling my car up with gas before it reaches 1/4 tank.

Ohhhhhh yeaaaaaaaah. Wild thang.

Had to stop at home to change my outfit. I now look exactly like I do in my profile picture.

Dinner.

Popped into Hobby lobby and found exactly what I needed, so I think I’ve had enough excitement for the day and I’m going to head home and chill out.

Thanks for joining me this Friday evening. The rest of my night is making a grocery list while I do my laundry.

Hey, I realize not everyone can handle this kind of fast living.

.....
Also, if you honestly thought I’d do anything in my original tweet...you do not know me well.