I am so exhausted by cisheteronormativity within the romance community.

I know we are always learning and I have plenty to learn, as well, but it’s 2021. By now, shouldn’t we all know better than to use hero/heroine instead of something like MC1/MC2?

Shouldn’t we all know genitals do not equal gender? That talking about dick as code either of men or for sex on the page is transphobic and exclusionary?

Something that is probably newer to people: the “opposite sex” doesn’t exist. In the same way that having brown eyes isn’t the opposite of having green eyes, or having long hair isn’t the opposite of having short hair.

Maybe to you these seem small, but to me, they are a reminder that not everyone in the romance community welcomes me, and some of those who do haven’t done anything other than surface-level work on understanding who I am and how to be a safe and welcoming community.

I’m talking about these issues today bc I have the time and energy to do so. Bc there are people hurt worse by the cisheteronormativity of the genre and community. But it’s exhausting, and I’m sure will put some people off of me and my work.

Allies, please think of that as you look at your own behavior, and as you look at that of others. See where you can step in to educate a fellow community member. See where you can take the onus off of queer and trans people to make this community a better, safer place for us.