Wife: Honey, please I need money to buy bone straight https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥺" title="Pleading face" aria-label="Emoji: Pleading face">

Husband: I don& #39;t have money

*Few days later*

Husband: My dear, I forgot 20k inside my trousers I gave you to wash for me, did you see it?

Wife:

(THREAD)

Tunde: *shares cake for his roommates on his birthday*

Muslim roommate: I can& #39;t take it, I& #39;m fasting.

*Later in the day*

The other roommates start having tummy ache because the cake was bad

Muslim roommate:

Female banker to her boyfriend: baby, I& #39;m going to trust you with all the confidential details of my work. I think they are safe with you.

Yahoo boyfriend :

Me about to go for an interview: Lemme go and take my white shirt that I spread outside, and prepare for my interview. Nothing is going to go wrong today.

Bird about to poop on my shirt:

Me: When I grow old, I& #39;m going enjoy my life and be eating whatever type of food I like

My Grandpa:

Me after looking in the mirror: I look beautiful this morning, let me take pictures

My phone camera: