One of the ways in which toxic people/spaces try to manipulate people to keep them from leaving, is by inducing emotional co-dependence. They often do this by attempting to convince people that they won’t be well if they leave, that they need this person/space.

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And it is not even just that people won’t be well, but that they won’t be able to access wellness, success, healing, freedom, happiness... without them.

They paint themselves as the key to people’s well-being, while also being a part of what keeps them from it.

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Abusive churches/pastors are more sinister as they assert it is not them who’s the answer but it is God. Conveniently they just happen to have God, they know what God wants, what *he* says, God is in their church/has “chosen” this pastor to be the abused person’s leader.

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They don’t induce emotional co-dependence directly but instead use the idea of God, which people are already dependent on. This communicates that God won’t be with them if they leave. They won’t have access to God unless they subject themselves to the abusive pastor/church.

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And for people who have been convinced they will not only have a bad life without God, but also that they will end up spending eternity in hell after they die; this is very effective in keeping people inside of churches with abusive leaders, and in keeping them miserable.

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I hope everyone knows that nobody can take divinity away from us, and that while we all need support and community, we can absolutely be well without one particular person/space.