CW: Body dysmorphia, diet culture, EDs, pregnancy

27 weeks in, and being pregnant has taught me to love my body in a way I never expected. I still struggle with it, as even the pregnant world was not designed for people with my body type. (1/X)

I was terrified I wouldn’t look pregnant. & for a long time, I didn’t. While thinner people were showing, I was not. This also affected how people saw me, I didn’t get the special pregnancy treatment bc they couldn’t believe I was pregnant. I was just fatter to them. (2/x)

I was terrified I wouldn’t be able to ever feel the baby kick. While others felt it much sooner, I didn’t feel it until 24 weeks. It was a worry I didn’t know how to explain, was my baby ok? How can I even tell if I can’t feel it??? Is it my fault because of my size? (3/x)

But to fight that, to finally let go of diet culture for my own health & the baby, finally be able to go now 7 months & not even think about my eating disorder, not being terrified of food or having a constant internal food calorie counter, it’s liberating. (4/x)

I will say, there are still a lot of assumptions made towards my health because of my size from my doctor and other medical staff, maternity clothes were not made with bigger folks in mind, the list goes on. (5/x)

& yet, here I am. Loving my body, loving watching it grow & change. Truly appreciating what it is capable of, despite the terrible first 6 months of symptoms. It’s honestly amazing that even I can & am doing this.

So thank you Baby Ward for giving me this beautiful gift (6/x)