thinking about how my y6 teacher told my mum he "ran out of people" to put me next to in class because i distracted everyone and it still took 9 more years to be diagnosed with ADHD

so here's a thread on my childhood neurodivergent behaviours that should have been noticed sooner

- off the top of my head there were 5 different classes where i had to sit alone or right under the teachers nose in secondary school because i was a 'constant low level distraction' to everyone around me. there were almost certainly more instances of this but i don't remember.

- i even had to swap places for misbehaving at nursery. one of my earliest memories is of getting in trouble for talking to a friend & having to go and sit with the boys during circle time. as a 4 year old girl i was understandably disgusted. still would be tbh. boys are gross.

- i never thought before i acted: at nursery i tried to 'pee like a boy' so i stood ON the toilet seat & tried to aim but i slipped & fell down. immediately. my mum also thought i'd be hit by a car because i was too impatient and impulsive to wait.

i was obsessed with finding out how things worked so did reckless things without considering the consequences. i stroked bumble bees in the garden, i dug up all the houseplants. i even tried to eat fox shit. i was so excited and intruiged by everything around me.

my impulsivity & need for exploration were probably due to under-stimulation. i went out of my way to find things that were fun &often the fun things were dangerous. i constantly got in trouble at primary school for doing things that weren't allowed. because they *were* dangerous

- i was let out of my buggy as a toddler at the park and just legged it. i kept running and my parents thought i'd eventually get scared and come back but i was a fearless little shit and they ended up having to chase after me. i find this hilarious & very on brand for baby kaz.

so far these have been very specific examples of impulsivity and my knack for doing things i shouldn't, they're all pretty amusing stories but all very typical of kids with ADHD, especially when you look at all the incidents together.

- i was an extremely well behaved baby. i rarely cried & i didn't like being hugged. apparently when i was a toddler i was upset but told my mum to leave me alone. i didn't want to be comforted.

- i am also told that i was very expressionless & my mum still thinks of me this way

- the good behaviour lasted until i was about 2 and i began having meltdowns constantly. possibly because i was interacting more with the world and becoming overwhelmed, but i had meltdowns frequently until i was about 8, although never at school.

- i was very late to the walking game (19 months) and also wasn't potty trained until i was 4. my first word wasn't typical either - it was the name of a character of my favourite TV show (Doodles from The Tweenies)

- i had sensory issues and used to deliberately wet myself at nursery so i could wear their spare trousers instead of the clothes i had been dressed in that morning. as a newborn i also would only go to sleep if the hoover was on.

- i was ambidextrous until i was 6. this is common in children with dyspraxia.

- i was exceptionally clumsy and remember breaking more crockery than i can count.

- i refused to learn to tie my laces until i started secondary school where lace-up trainers were compulsory for PE

- i had a completely different demeanors at home & at school. i masked all day at school & then was exhausted by home time. my mum refused to collect me because every time i saw her waiting for me i'd frown. probably because it was safer for me to unmask at home/around her.

- i was very blunt and didn't understand the social hierarchy at school. i would say what i thought and would get into a lot of trouble for it. this was not helped by my lack of volume control.

- i had a growing sense of not fitting in. i knew i was different and i didn't know why i couldn't be more like the other girls. i was bullied occasionally and just tried to fit in but became increasingly anxious and self conscious. i'd cry & panic before every party or disco.

- i taught myself how to read and had frequent intesne hyperfixations: sharks, bugs, different periods of history, owls, doctor who, harry potter, natural disasters, human inflicted disasters, etc.

- i had a very sudden personality switch around age 9. i went from being fascinated by absolutely everything to completely withdrawn, anxious & depressed. idrk if this is a common ND experience, maybe a response to chronic rejection combined with other trauma from that time

- i had BFRBs from an extremely young age. i was forced by my mum and teacher at age ~4 to apply lip balm regularly because otherwise i'd bite my lip. i had to wear plasters on my face throughout school to stop me picking at it.

- i didn't listen to people and eve when i was listening, i very often misheard things or misunderstood because instructions weren't clear enough.

- i was accused of being pedantic and a smart arse when trying to correct people if they said something incorrect.

- i took things very literally. if someone said "wait a minute" i'd count to 60. i often knew that idioms weren't literal but would still try and poke holes in them to try to understand.

- i was emotionally hypersensitive. i was very very easily upset or offended and was frequently criticised for being too sensitive or 'deliberately' finding something to be upset about.

- another hilarious story i just remembered is when i had just learned to write and wrote my sisters name on a freshly painted wall. obviously i expected her to be blamed for it. she was 18 months old. she could not write anything. the culprit was very obviously baby kaz.

idk if that one is a neurodivergent thing i just think i was a hilarious kid lmao. i'll add to this thread as and when i think of things but i've spent far too long avoiding work today so time to get back to it.

i know this thread probably isn't that coherent, it's a bunch of experiences which individually don't look like much but all together seem to be pretty standard neurodivergent kid behaviour. most examples were primary school age and younger, i masked a LOT more as i got older

this is so much longer than i meant for it to be lmao i'm so sorry i've spent my morning avoiding life