steve is lonely. the 21st century confuses him, and he aches to go back to a more familiar era. everything is different. he misses bucky, wishes he were here to tell him it'll be alright - maybe even hold him, as ridiculous as it sounds. he misses the rest of the howlies, too.

in a fucked up way, he also misses the war. maybe even the cold.

his new team is kind enough. they all call him "cap", though, except natasha. she's his favorite, he thinks. she helps him when he needs something, and they even hang out sometimes. it's nice.

he's not sure about tony, yet. he'd never admit it, but his comments get on steve's nerves more than he'd like to admit. he brushes them off.

he can handle it, and he doesn't need help.

nobody knows that he sleeps on the floor most nights. not even natasha.

sometimes clint brings his dog, lucky, to the tower. steve likes those days. lucky makes him smile and reminds him of some of the dogs they used to have during the war. sometimes, if there's no one else around, he'll curl up on the couch with lucky. it makes him feel safe.

thor and bruce are nice to him too. He doesn't see both of them very often - bruce opting to spend most of his time buried in his lab, and thor staying off-world a lot.

he's worried himself sick they don't like him. maybe he's not a good enough leader.

one day he manages to hide his face and makes his way to the smithsonian. there are so many pictures of him and his old team in grainy black and white. they're special nonetheless. maybe if he asks for copies they'll give him some. he wants to put them in his notebook.

his new team is different. he's more lonely than he's ever been - even after bucky first shipped out to war.

steve is younger than all of them, in a complex way. it's almost unfair to him, that he's supposed to be the leader.

he keeps a journal of everything new he encounters, writing letters to the past. sometimes, when his dreams are filled with ice and he can't sleep, he'll whisper to himself everything he would tell bucky if he were here. he watches the stars pass him by as he does. it helps.