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i need to just take my mind off the drama thats happened today. its so overwhelming, and ive spent my entire day invested in it when i could have been doing anything else. i felt this way yrs ago with osu twitter and i just ended up deacc and quitting twt for a yr. i dont want
to do this now but with my anxiety its really hard not to get completely invested in every little stupid drama that i see that doesnt affect my life. especially when none of them ever seem to come to closure. the only time i felt it was worth it is when dream msgd me cause thats
really something not many ppl at all are gonna experience. that was truly somethin else, and ive made so many friends from that. but now its just exhausting. im not getting anything out of this. quite literally nobody is. it shouldnt have this much of an effect on my life yknow
i just hate being so invested in something so negative. thats not what im about, i literally go to extreme extents to empathize with everyone and if u ever talked to me u know that. i will empathize w the ppl most dont think deserve any. and it actually just makes me miserable.
i hate that standing up for what i believe in and trying to be good to other human beings is what is tearing me down, its not right at all. im just super exhausted. the only reason im making this thread is so i can feel a sense of closure in the first place! i& #39;m super close
to just getting rid of every1 that tweets abt drama, but i know thats stupid bcuz 1) it will just hurt more ppl 2) there will ALWAYS be a replacement. there is quite literally no escape from drama. i thought mcyt was an escape from all the bullshit i went thru in the osu
community but here we are. granted its not nearly as bad, but its still bullshit. its still a waste of time. its still taking me away from working towards things i care about and being a better person. the only reason im even here is because i love interacting with different
types of ppl. literally everyone on stan twt i think comes from a completely different social background than where im from. and its just so cool to interact w ppl with extremely different life experiences than me. but its just so exhausting spending hrs on my computer or phone
constantly constantly refreshing my timeline, making sure everyone knows what i have to say about something, reading every single notification, being scared people will dislike me cause of my opinion on something. it genuinely hurts my head, after every single little twitter
drama that happens i get super hot headed for hours, and i still am, my whole body is heated cause of how invested i get into this. its so goddamn unhealthy i feel. but i have no self control. i love this community a lot, its the first online community ive ever been in where i
feel like i can embrace my identity and feel accepted and empathized with, like hasan said earlier on todays stream, theres literally nowhere else like this. i come from edgy transphobic racist 4chan shit and its SUCH a fucking breath of fresh air not having to deal with that.
i actually feel like most ppl on this side of twitter doesnt realize like, this is the only online circle that is this progressive. literally everywhere else online is like half progressive half centrist/conservative/anti sjw at least. its literally quite like nothing else, maybe
besides the old tumblr era when that existed. im grateful the drama i have to deal with now isnt constantly ppl bullying trans ppl and undermining issues, and now super miniscule shit like the karl jacobs sich where at least the guy himself is a progressive now. but its just..
so much. like i dont know something new pops up about someone every day and every day feels like its the same shit. literally every single content creator on the dsmp, who are all pro lgbt and have progressive values, have been called out for something in t heir past or like
making a bad joke or whatever the fuck. its just so weird to me, that we spend so much energy going after fellow progressives. anywhere else on the internet is nowhere near this level of fuckery. this energy is so much better put towards deplatforming genuine scum with massive
massive platforms like keemstar for example. like. ice still has a platform. why didnt we go after ice for doing genuine terrible things? why do we just go after someone who associated with him. i mean i know why, but its just so useless to me. everyone wants to enact change,
everyones heart is in the right place, but what you& #39;re doing has ultimately 0 positive effect on the world. and that doesnt sit right with me. like, so much energy going into all this drama for Nothing. absolutely nothing. and thats why im just so tired of this. if you thought
there was going to be some huge point this all lead up to at the end, im sorry because i got nothing. my point is. i& #39;m exhausted, i probably won& #39;t change anything after this thread, in 2 days something is gonna come out about another cc, and it will be the same god damn day
as today has been, as the past two days with the dream drama has been, as the day tommy neg trended for the ksi stuff, its all gonna be the same. and im so fucking frustrated because of that. if i could say anything, i would just want people to stop engaging in this drama, just
tweet about positive shit that makes u happy, and if ur gonna tweet about something negative, make it about something that MATTERS. like the Mario Gonzales situation. cause that really fucking matters. but THIS? this is so trivial and stupid to me. and thats all i have to say.
im genuinely scared of posting this as i am every other time i post any of my opinions, becasue im scared someone is gonna be upset with me, and thats the last thing i want ever. i dont want to hurt anyone, and i dont want anyone to be mad at me.
if you have the money to invest into something that matters, ill link you this.
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