personal mental health and diagnosis thread/crisis:

my brain just does not work, and i cant remember myself well enough to know if it is worse or if i am just noticing it more.

like i cant tell if something has changed and something is wrong or if i have always been like this.

which really messes with me, because of my ADHD diagnosis.

i got my diagnosis in college, as an adult, after i went through a really traumatic relationship.

my relationship with meds has been complicated too, mostly concerning my own conception of what having adhd and choosing to take meds said about me and my worth, which questioning my worth is definitely something i started to do in the traumatic relationship.

but it is also like what if i dont have adhd, what if i have ptsd. how do i just accept my diagnosis, what if its both? feeling like something is wrong but being unable to communicate exactly what has been driving me crazy for over a year.

i dont feel well. i dont feel alright. but i don’t know whats wrong, and i dont know how to talk about whats wrong or how to ask for help or what to do.

i just feel so scattered. like bilbo baggins when he says he feels like not enough butter spread over too much toast, but i’m 23 and haven’t done ANYTHING

so why am i so confused and tired?

i’m going to show this thread to my therapist our next meeting and talk to him about going back on meds