It’s been more than ten hours and Im still reeling from the moment my best friend and bubble left my flat this morning, tossed his football kit behind him into the hallway and told me to “go easy on the fabric softener”. Not yet decided if he’s an idol or a dead man

In fairness I’m known to be a bit heavy-handed with my beloved blue lenor but I still think no jury would convict me for murder

I mean, I am 100% going to put his white kit in with a load of coloureds and make it look like Huddersfield away