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Depression is shit guys. You can say all kinds of funny stuff here and still be huddled under your comforter in your underwear wishing the day would just stop. Sunshine outside, dogs ready to play and your brain will still go lol nope bitch
The fact that we can be self aware enough to acknowledge "better" "choices" yet have an override mechanism that causes us to fight it makes me kinda mad. I should not be in bed, I should not even have the time to post this nonsense. I know that but I don't. You know?
It's not rational to give up so easily. To look at your nearly folded pants and socks and shoes and KNOW in your gut that a walk feels like freedom and peace and still have a bigger force pushing you down. It's not right.
If you picked me up and dressed me and stuck me in the middle of the park surely I'd move then. Surely it would be enough to make me find my way.
There's trees there though, grass and hills, and I'm really tired. The temptation to nap among the flowers and bees and hope to be carried back home is real.
I'm ok, I promise. It's just this nice empty space is here to fill and I'm not up for sharing everything with one person. For now I'd rather share one thing with every person and hope it's enough. I appreciate my friends here very much.
Maybe the patio isn't so bad. Maybe it's a start.
