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I am a light skinned Tejana who grew up being told to label myself Hispanic. I did not know why that label mattered but in the last few years I have learned that "hispanic" is palatable for whiteness. It was a choice someone in my family made out of the need to survive.
And it was passed down to me like a shield. Also the history of how my maternal great grandparents became married was kept from me. He was Spanish and won her in a poker game, she was indigenous. She is the only other person besides my son to die by suicide.
I have looked back on all the ways that I have been the token. The bridge between white people and people of Color and how I was used as a weapon. My big mouth, my fighting spirit and my overall need to call out bullshit. But that can easily be turned against my people
especially when huge parts of the story are kept from me or I keep myself from finding seeking out those stories to find the truth.
I am married to a white man. A redneck who wears a cowboy hat and boots and owns guns. His father was a cop. His whiteness has protected me.
I am married to a white man. A redneck who wears a cowboy hat and boots and owns guns. His father was a cop. His whiteness has protected me.
Like the time we were in a park after hours eating his birthday cake away from the kids bc we thought it was funny and a police officer came up to us asking what we were doing and asked for proof that we were married and I was not a hooker. My husband's white skin shielded me.
It was the first time he felt the danger that I was in as a Brown woman.
I know all of this from real lived experiences. It is highly infuriating to be told that I am just falling in line with CRT. It is not a theory to me.
I have lived in a Brown body in Texas all my life.
I know all of this from real lived experiences. It is highly infuriating to be told that I am just falling in line with CRT. It is not a theory to me.
I have lived in a Brown body in Texas all my life.
I learned at an early age, when I was paddled at school for speaking Spanish which was my first language, how to protect myself from white rage. I learned that people who look like me are also protecting themselves and a lot of times that meant assimilating.
My point of all this is to say to watch the people around you. If they tokenize the Black or Brown person who says racism is not an issue and this country is not a racist country then they are telling you about themselves. Listen to them. Set boundaries.
We cannot ignore this anymore. We have to stand in solidarity with each other. Our children are being murdered and bills to give police immunity to kill students in Texas school are being debated. We do not have time to waste denying that people who tell us they are racist are
And it will cost us. I have no speaking gigs booked right now. I just got an email from a Patron threatening to pull her monthly pledge. I have seen people get two books published while my proposals are denied or take forever to be pitched. I am willing to pay the price.
I have a dead son. I will pay whatever price I have to in order to do what I can to stop another mother from burying her child. Especially at the hands of a racist system like American policing. I will put all my energy in that and not in trying to convince anyone racism is real.
anyone who does not see that by now, does not want to see it.
