“I’ve never been good about thinking of anyone other than myself. (..) If I’m not careful my mind always seem to drift back to myself instead of focusing on who I’m talking to”

The ambiguity in Yukimasa’s Sub-episode (Requiem): A THREAD
#JonatFata

This tale is from a time where he was still more man than a beast
At the time Yukimasa was already romantically involved with Pauline, he was building with Pauline a sweet relationship together. Yukimasa has identity crisis and this the core of his character: one part, you have i

s outer self: he knows from people that he’s a beast but what he doesn’t know is his ***inner self***… like at the beginning it’s stated he doesn’t know hes been smiling and enjoying it when killing people after the act (he just heard it from tales).

And the mistery of his inner self is very important for the conclusion of this sub-episode.
Yukimasa’s crew sailed off somewhere to replenish themselves and they dragged him into a brothel. There, he met a prostitute and this prostitute found attachment into Yukimasa’s company.

Yukimasa thought “well I guess I can temporarily replace Pauline with her during my time here”. Yukimasa found something precious, untainted through his bounding with Pauline and tried to temporarily replace that during his stay on this island with this new girl.

(Pauline is very important for Yukimasa’s character so this replacement is the 2nd important information to have in mind for this thread)

The prostitute asked him to spend his last night with her before his crew leave her “country”.

During that last night, Yukimasa tried to sneak off without a word and leave her behind while she was still asleep. But to his surprise, the girl was awake cos she suspected he was gonna abandon her like every guy in her life did. She told Yukimasa how she’s tired of waking up to

empty beds. In every intimate relationship she’s tried to have, ppl eventually leave her without saying a proper goodbye and it makes her feel worthless and pathetic.

Now this the most important part about this thread, Yukimasa thinks to himself (pls read the image down here):

“I’ve never been good about thinking of anyone other than myself. (..) If I’m not careful my mind always seem to drift back to myself instead of focusing on who I’m talking to. That, said I’ve spent a great deal thinking about you”

At this moment, the story makes us think

makes us think Yukimasa killed off this girl because, after thinking about her life, he wants to save her from any future dissappointments in life. BUT the IRONY in this is that it’s literally STATED that when Yukimasa thinks about other ppl, his mind always DRIFT BACK TO HIMSELF

. Yukimasa didn’t kill that girl bc he cares about her future, he killed her because of HIS INNER SELF… THE inner self he couldn’t comprehend .. he has identity crisis so even himself didn’t know why he killed her... But what exactly was Yukimasa’s inner self objective atm?

At the very end of this sub-episode, it is stated that Yukimasa’s inner objective is “not to risk cracking the foundation Pauline provided him, the Sanctuary she had formed around him”.

Yukimasa killed that prostitute bc by trying to temporarily replace Pauline with that girl, he was risking cracking their foundation.
THANKS FOR READING GUYS! Just masterclass character writing.