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It& #39;s officially 3 years since I& #39;ve been appointed EFF National Comms Manager
Many people said I wouldn& #39;t last "there".
People warned me against the "brutal boys" who would "chew me & spit me out".
So maybe let me tell you something about "those boys".
Many people said I wouldn& #39;t last "there".
People warned me against the "brutal boys" who would "chew me & spit me out".
So maybe let me tell you something about "those boys".
I don& #39;t know where to begin but perhaps I should start by telling you that:
My father told me that I was a failure once. In 2010 to be precise. I remember that day.
My father told me that I was a failure once. In 2010 to be precise. I remember that day.
I froze. I wanted to cry but I didn& #39;t. I wanted to curse him out but I didn& #39;t. I pulled myself together and I took it all in and tried to think of what to do next.
Everything that I went through after that was as if my father had indeed invoked supernatural powers to inflict harm on me.
Everything I tried would fall apart. I got jobs I never got to start at.
It is also then I started to get sick, for the first time in my life. I suddenly had to undergo an open heart surgery.
I wasn& #39;t at all sick, but they did say that I would when I& #39;m older, if I don& #39;t do it.
It is also then I started to get sick, for the first time in my life. I suddenly had to undergo an open heart surgery.
I wasn& #39;t at all sick, but they did say that I would when I& #39;m older, if I don& #39;t do it.
I agreed to undergo that open heart surgery because I was hoping that I don& #39;t wake up from that table.
I was tired of life proving my father right. Everyday life was now proving how much of a failure I am.
I was tired of life proving my father right. Everyday life was now proving how much of a failure I am.
I remember bargaining with God that, that was a decent exit for me.
I mean to cut a person open, stop the heart, repair it. Then staple the person up. Resuscitate the person.
Can you imagine the trauma? I knew I wouldn& #39;t survive that.
I mean to cut a person open, stop the heart, repair it. Then staple the person up. Resuscitate the person.
Can you imagine the trauma? I knew I wouldn& #39;t survive that.
I had no desire to take my own life but I knew that I was scared to continue to live because I was scared and tired of failing .
I was scared that failing would follow me all the days of my life. My father had declared it and in isiXhosa they say "ilizwi lomzali alidliwa mpuku"
I was scared that failing would follow me all the days of my life. My father had declared it and in isiXhosa they say "ilizwi lomzali alidliwa mpuku"
Anyway I woke up from that table.
I was live on SA FM one day, discussing matters of economic freedom in our lifetime.
I started slurring but neither me or the host knew what was happening.
I was having a stroke. Live on the wireless.
I started slurring but neither me or the host knew what was happening.
I was having a stroke. Live on the wireless.
The paramedics couldn& #39;t confirm what was wrong but in a matter of minutes the ER doctor confirmed that I was having a stroke.
That day was the worst day of my life.
That day was the worst day of my life.
I cried all the hours of the days I was in the ICU.
Nurses and doctors feared I would stroke again but I just couldn& #39;t stop crying. I was so sad and I was so scared. And all I could do was cry.
Nurses and doctors feared I would stroke again but I just couldn& #39;t stop crying. I was so sad and I was so scared. And all I could do was cry.
I looked at my life and couldn& #39;t see past me being pushed around on a wheelchair and taken care of by my grandmother.
I knew I& #39;d lose my job. Cognitively I was affected and physically I was now incapacitated.
I was sad that God could have prevented all of it but he didn& #39;t and that bothered me so much.
One of the few moments I smiled when I was in hospital is when our former DSG paid me a visit on behalf of our organization carrying this message.
That message ignited something in me.
My organization, the EFF, the leadership still cared for me. That& #39;s not something I get everyday.
I remembered all the stories and lessons our CIC taught me. Especially when he had lost everything.
My organization, the EFF, the leadership still cared for me. That& #39;s not something I get everyday.
I remembered all the stories and lessons our CIC taught me. Especially when he had lost everything.
I knew I had to fight. But how?
Doctors were not promising anything. Neither were the therapists.
I could recover but not 100%. Also stroke has complications and mostly recurs.
That saddened me a lot. Like was that really it? Just like that?
Doctors were not promising anything. Neither were the therapists.
I could recover but not 100%. Also stroke has complications and mostly recurs.
That saddened me a lot. Like was that really it? Just like that?
The situation was bad. There was no communication between my mind and my body.
Some of my cells in my brain had died. Which cuts the function of the other body parts. Like the entire left side of my body.
Some of my cells in my brain had died. Which cuts the function of the other body parts. Like the entire left side of my body.
I remember the day I received a message from our CIC.
It was not the first time I hear from him but the difference is that this time the President was saying
"With the help of God and our ancestors we will beat this".
It was not the first time I hear from him but the difference is that this time the President was saying
"With the help of God and our ancestors we will beat this".
Now it was CIC against my father.
My father had said "I am a failure"
Now here the CIC was standing beside me saying "With the help of God and our ancestors we will beat this".
Summoning all the powers against the previous powers evoked by my father.
My father had said "I am a failure"
Now here the CIC was standing beside me saying "With the help of God and our ancestors we will beat this".
Summoning all the powers against the previous powers evoked by my father.
The most important part in CIC& #39;s message for me was the "we".
"We will beat this". Not "you" but "we".
That changed every gaddamn thing.
"We will beat this". Not "you" but "we".
That changed every gaddamn thing.
So this is what "those boys" stood by me and help me do.
I remember the day I decided I& #39;m going to try walking on a treadmill. My therapist thought it was not time. I was like. I& #39;m going on.
And Everytime I regained an ability , I got so excited and pushed for more.
I also remember when I insisted on getting a bike. Everyone at the rehab center was "erm".
But I was determined. Tie my foot on the pladle and let& #39;s go.
Big mistake. I actually fell obviously.
But I was determined. Tie my foot on the pladle and let& #39;s go.
Big mistake. I actually fell obviously.
Anyway I also jog now. 
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So ladies and gentlemen. This is my journey in and with the EFF.
So ladies and gentlemen. This is my journey in and with the EFF.
When you see me. See someone who was declared a nothing.
Someone who was brain damaged
but the EFF stood by me and said, this one is ours and believed in me against all odds.
Affirming me and giving me hope as I run this race and carry this heavy cross.
Someone who was brain damaged
but the EFF stood by me and said, this one is ours and believed in me against all odds.
Affirming me and giving me hope as I run this race and carry this heavy cross.
Lastly
My doctor says in his 21 years in the medical field, I& #39;m his success story he is proud of.
My doctor says in his 21 years in the medical field, I& #39;m his success story he is proud of.
