OK, as promised, it's Thursday, I have the day off work and I will be attempting to be player of the day on Akinator Pro. Feel free to mute this thread if you don't want 100 updates on me guessing Southampton defenders from the late 90s.

13hrs 36 minutes left until the day ticks over. Current top scorer is someone called "Jonny" on 519 points. My guess is I'll need around 2,500 to win the day.

Daily Challenge is on Star Wars villains, a topic I know fuck all about, so there's probably not much help there. May need to do this by brute force.

Start off nice and slowly. Gold medal for Norman Smiley.

Gold #2: Rick Steiner. I currently sit 190th in the world.

Our first platinum of the day goes to Chris Kanyon. Who better than Kanyon? The 94 people who are still ahead of me in the rankings.

Gold #3: Juventud Guerrera. Might take a break and go back to this late 90s WCW seam in a few hours, feel like I need to get some black medals on the board asap.

Switched fields of concern and it immediately paid off. A Platinum for beloved ginger RPDR Pit Crew member Bryce Eilenberg.

Gold medal: PW Botha

There needs to be a term for when one medal leads to an obvious second one. As in here: gold for FW De Klerk.

Gold: Ian Smith (as in the Rhodesian lad)

Staying in the Mother Continent, but with slightly more palatable names: platinum medal for Benni McCarthy.

While researching another possible name (didn't get it), I was reminded that Amr Zaki refused a move to Portsmouth because they had an Algerian player.

Gold #7: Rita Moreno. 18th in the world.

Gold for 2009 Derby winner Sea the Stars.

Fucking hell, finally a black medal. Jim Jones, the capo, hadn't been played for 12 months and 5 days. Maybe Dipset is the key to medals today, gonna take a break and then come back to research Freaky Zeekey.

Platinum for Cam'ron. This is really weak on rappers, maybe that's my passport to victory today?

You know I had to do it to 'em: Kitty Pryde, black medal. Last played 27 months and 15 days ago.

Danny Brown, gold.

Juelz Santana, platinum

Chewbacca Mask Mom, a gold, takes me to fifth in the world.

Kreayshawn, platinum. #3rd in the world. Want to hit #1, build up a small lead then I can drip feed domination throughout the rest of the day. Dispirit anyone from challenging me.

And a black medal for Masta Ace takes me top. But there’s a long, long way to go.

Gold for Tim Flowers. There's, however, a player called "Geng" who has just woken up and is climbing the rankings rapidly. They're 22 points behind me. They've hit blacks with two "YouTube musicians" and a character from "His Dark Materials". Let's get back on this.

Platinum for John-Joe O'Toole. Fuck you Geng.

Platinum for Serhiy Rebrov. When's he going to get his ill-fated spell as an EPL manager?

And perhaps my proudest achievement of the day so far: platinum for the Derpina rageface.

Platinum for Levi Bellfield. Geng still won't go away, they're 16 point behind me.

As a Northampton lad you know I've got love for safety elevators, so I had to get a platinum on Elisha Otis.

Which is then followed by a platinum for Otis the Aardvark.

Right, time to put some points on the board and scare Geng off. Gold for The Fast Show's Bob Fleming.

Platinum for heavily bleeding untrained wrestler Mass Transit.

Platinum for Paul "The Asset" Nicholson, which puts me 113 points clear at the top. I can take a break now.

Gonna throw a few more in, keep the lead up. Paul the Octopus, gold.

Gold for Buju Banton, and it's looking like "Boom Bye Bye" for Geng.

Ben Folds, gold. I will never again have the level of anticipation for anything that I had for Ben Folds Five's third album when I was 16.

Platinum for Ed Robertson, aka "the less talented of the two singers in Barenaked Ladies"

Saw some brer climbing up the rankings with a bunch of mosher-friendly names, so I decided to bite his steez: gold for Ginger from The Wildhearts. "I Wanna Go Where The People Go" - best British rock track of the 90s?

Gold for Grant Nicholas of Feeder. He's 53.

Platinum for Jade Jones, of "Damage and Mr Emma Bunton" fame, takes me past 1,000 points for the day.

I'm a take you to the movies, shoday, with a platinum for Bangs.

Gold for Afroman

Massimo Bottura, always a favourite around these parts, gives us a platinum. The new second-placer is "Mel", 142 points behind me, who has managed to get eight black medals with people from the Teen Mom franchise.

Heads be calling me H "Two" O the way I roll with platinum. Another one for Huey Morgan.

Platinum again, this time with legendary Italian singer-songwriter Fabrizio De Andre.

Lucio Battisti, platinum. I now sit 235 points clear. I think I can afford to take a 30 minute break.

Back on my bullshit and the fourth black medal of the day comes in the form of Kenneth Noye. Last played 18 months and 15 days ago.

Another black medal as we enter our victory lap. Desmond Ambrose, last played 6 months and 15 days ago.

But, weirdly, only a gold for Porkpie

Another black comes with Bettino Craxi. Last played 23 months and 24 days ago.

Bamber Gascoigne, gold. Do you always forget he's still alive?

Gold for Est'elle. I'm still calling her Est'elle, fuck this Estelle shit.

Roots Manuva is platinum.

Gold for Travie McCoy. 14 minutes left.

Ah that feels good

The black medals gathered together for a group photo:

Unironically the most I've enjoyed playing any game in years. Feel mentally exhausted and can no longer name any famous people that aren't on the TV screen in front of me. Thanks for the numbers, we'll do this again in a few months. Maybe a run to 3,000 points?