every egg is like "i'm ugly and hairy and gross and no one will ever love me" and then you see them again after starting hrt and they've literally aged backwards 20 years

egg: i'm grey ace in that i kind of have a sex drive but every time i try it's just awkward and kinda traumatic even though i'm pretty sure i did everything right
egg (former): i've had sex with three different women today and i haven't even taken my progesterone yet

this is not to say that all or even most grey ace eggs become hypersexual when they start hrt, just that... it's been known to happen

so i think a lot of folks who are around the 3-5 year hrt mark make jokes like this a lot and it's scary for folks who haven't started hrt yet because it *sounds* like you take a few pills and your entire personality changes. that's not how it works.

there is no one "how it works," really. it works differently for everyone! some trans people get REALLY horny, some people don't. the most important thing to understand is that hrt may affect your libido, but it can't
outright change your sexuality. that's your choice.

you may find yourself subject to new attractions, new sensations, new *lots* of things when you start hrt. but you are fundamentally still you (albeit a "better version" so to speak, at least according to a lot of post-hrt trans folks).

this doesn't happen without your knowledge or consent, in my experience. it's a gradual change that happens because aligning your body with a more correct-feeling sense of self naturally leads to you experiencing life in a new way, and all that newness can't help but change you!

it may sound scary, but i promise it's worth it. if you think you want hrt, and you have the ability to try... do it. give it a shot. you won't get any permanent changes for a good month or so. there's nothing wrong with quitting if you don't like how it makes you feel.

lot of folks in my mentions like "wish that were me but it won't :(" and i just want to share this video i made in 2017 where i state quite definitively that i hate my body and believe i am unloveably disgusting. needless to say, that's not how i feel now

find trans people where you live. find trans people online. talk to them. ask them questions. ask for help. take care of yourself like you want to live. eventually you'll realize you've already got one foot out of hell, so you might as well go the rest of the way.

if i've learned anything in my time as a public trans person it's that trans people are EVERYWHERE. we can be hard to track down, and we might not be right up in your neighborhood, but wherever you are... we're here too.

i wish it were easier to start hrt, but it is easier now (in the states, at least) than it ever has been. i got on hrt without much trouble in oklahoma of all places! and i only spent about $30/month on hrt without insurance. it's not a cheap process, but it could be MUCH worse

even if hrt isn't an option for you, grooming yourself regularly and dressing in more gender-affirming ways can really make a difference! it can be as simple as wearing the right underwear when you're otherwise stealth going to work/school/etc.