Time for a BakuDeku thread! Angst heavy but a happy ending.

Quirkless PopStar Deku / ProHero Bakugou

~~The two of them have been dating for over ten years, since year one of high school, it was going fine until Bakugou heard Deku's new song (July by Noah Cyrus)

"Dude come sit with us, we're watching Midoriya's live stream!"

Bakugou did not want to sit with them, and he didn't really give a shit about Deku's live stream. He did a few of them a week and had for the past few years. They were always short, acoustic versions of songs he

liked or ones that were popular at the time. Sometimes he took requests or showed off new songs, half the time he would just sit on stream answering questions and fucking around with Meow Might who wasn't supposed to go into his studio room but always managed to sneak in.

Whatever it was though, Bakugou had heard it, probably a thousand times before. Deku had been singing on the playground when they met, he'd sung his way through their childhood, through Valentine's Day gifts, birthdays, when he cooked dinner. Bakugou had heard them all.

He had work to do, just like the rest of the idiots crammed into the agency's lunchroom. They had been involved in a huge attack yesterday, one that results in a huge amount of paperwork. Paperwork Bakugou planned on doing while he ate the lunch he just grabbed from the fridge.

"He said it's a new song!" Mina said, trying to entice him to stay.

"I've heard all of his shit, if it's a new song I've heard it a thousand fucking times before you assholes do," He threw back, not bothering to even turn and face her while he dug through their drawers in an

effort to find a single fucking matching pair of chopsticks.

Bakugou heard her quiet "ugh," as she turned back to the tv they had put the stream up on, and she continued to ignore him by telling someone to turn it up.

By the time Bakugou's chopstick hunt was successful he was happy to find all of his friend's eyes locked on the tv, perfect for him to sneak out behind them, which he moved to do, creeping by until he made the mistake of looking up at the tv.

Deku was sitting in the middle of the room, his microphone pulled in close and a guitar in his hands that was plugged into cords that trailed towards the camera. He wasn't looking at the camera setup across him as he fiddled with things, wasn't checking the comments either.

He had on one of his old All Might shirts, old enough Bakugou knew there were holes in the bottom where the fabric had worn thin from years of both of them wearing it down, his hair was slightly tamed, as much of it pulled up at the back of his head as he could fit in a hair tie.

It showed off his face. Dark freckles were highlighted on his pink cheeks and wet lips sparkled in the light as Deku chewed on them.

Bakugou froze a couple of steps from the doorway, why was Deku doing that? Why was he nervous?

Bakugou stepped back into the room, his food forgotten in his hands as he moved in closer up behind Kaminari and Shinsou who were sitting to the side of the table.

Jirou was the only one who seemed to notice him sneak in since she sat on the other side. The others along the

middle of the table, Kirishima, Mina, and Sero, hadn't caught him either. They weren't looking his way, especially now that Deku had started strumming his guitar, playing the first few cords of a song Bakugou didn't instantly recognize.

But... Mina had said this was a new song, and Bakugou heard ALL of Deku's new songs. There wouldn't be one he didn't know. He would hear Deku plucking away to get the beat right, singing the same line over and over again until he could nail the way he wanted it to sound.

In high school, he would come to Bakugou for his opinion, singing pieces of the song and making Bakugou tell him what the lyrics reminded him of. Since Bakugou was at UA and Deku a private high school nearby Bakugou would cherish that time together no matter what they were doing.

Bakugou would tell him if a line didn't make sense, and if he couldn't figure out what something was supposed to be about sometimes Deku would pull him close and sing it for him again softer with their foreheads pressed together.

Deku would sing him songs about childhood love, about soulmates, and Bakugou would welcome the peace that came with something like that after the shit he dealt with every day at school. Deku was his rock, the one thing in his life that had always been steady.

But they didn't have time for things like that these days.

Bakugou was Japan's number one hero, the Symbol of Victory, whether he felt the title was deserved or not it was his and he wasn't going to disappoint anyone who believed in him.

And Deku, eight years ago one of Deku's songs had landed in the top ten of the worldwide charts, and Deku had songs in the top 100 every single week since then.

That song had landed him awards for the best new artist, it had been about love, and how love as you know it grows from what it meant when you were a child, but also how it stays the same. How love had followed him from a playground to adulthood.

After it had come out Deku had been as busy as Bakugou was. The two of them racing around the country to fights or shows, to interviews and press appearances. They were a busy couple but that's why they lived together, so they at least saw each other occasionally.

And look Bakugou knew he hadn't been to one of Deku's concerts in a few years but he would fucking know if this was one of the nerd's songs, he would have heard it around the house. But he didn't recognize the tune, and Deku looked nervous.

It was a mellow tune, and Deku's voice was low and quiet as he started to sing.

"You know I, I'm afraid of change, guess that's why I stay the same," Deku's voice broke at the end, something Bakugou wondered if the others noticed.

Bakugou's heartbeat picked up because he knew this WAS one of Deku's songs. Not because he had heard it before but because it sounded familiar. It sounded real, it was Deku's voice and his style and his type of beat which meant these were his feelings.

And then, then he started singing about leaving, about there being someone better and then "You remind me every day I'm not enough but I still stay" and some part of Bakugou cracked in two.

He felt the pain inside of himself like someone took an axe, phased it through his body, and only hit his heart with it splitting it in two.

"Feels like a lifetime..."

"I've done a lot of things wrong loving you being one but I can't move on..."

Each line was its own blow, and Bakugou felt every hit harder than the last.

Deku was too afraid of what changes it might cause in his life to just leave Bakugou so he wanted Bakugou to tell him to go. He didn't want him anymore, didn't want them.

"You remind me every day I'm not enough but I still stay."

That's how Deku finished the song, holding the note with a smile on his face that didn't reach his misty eyes. He got up, thanked the people watching, and ended the stream.

You remind me every day I'm not enough but I still stay.

No that wasn't true that wasn't right. Bakugou didn't do that he'd never... well he had. Of course he had though. Their entire childhood he had reminded Deku with every interaction that Deku wasn't good enough.

You remind me every day I'm not enough but I still stay.

They were supposed to be heroes together, Deku was supposed to have a quirk, they were always going to be by each other's side until Deku's quirk never came. And that had made Deku "Deku", useless.

You remind me every day I'm not enough but I still stay.

But eventually, Bakugou had realized there were other ways for them to stay together. They could be by one another's side no matter what, he could still keep Deku close to him. But was he close? Were they close?

You remind me every day I'm not enough but I still stay.

They went to industry events together, went out with Bakugou or Deku's friends for dinner and drinks. They slept together every night they were both home.

You remind me every day I'm not enough but I still stay.

Bakugou was always in bed first, and up in the mornings to leave before Deku had woken up. But he usually heard when Deku came in to lay beside him and their schedule was fine because they had different sleep patterns.

You remind me every day I'm not enough but I still stay.

The only time they went to bed at the same time was when they fell asleep with the sheets sticky and their bodies tired. But Bakugou didn't like to be touched when he was sweaty... so even then they weren't together.

You remind me every day I'm not enough but I still stay.

He needed to go home, that's where Deku was and he had to... he had to tell Deku he was enough because he had to stay because Bakugou didn't even know that Deku not staying at his side was even a possibility.

There were people talking to him, a hand on his shoulder, a wild mop of red hair in front of him, he shrugged them off and walked out of the room.

They couldn't stop him and they didn't.

POV change here to Deku (after a quick break)

Also, I'm adding a link back to the top! https://twitter.com/theburningbread/status/1387612973816901636?s=20

It was late when Izuku finally gave in and called it a night. He'd closed the heavy curtains in the studio earlier that day around noon just before he started his stream and only now was drawing them open again. The city made the sky bright at night but the sun had set hours ago.

He checked the time on his phone and realized with a sigh that it was just after midnight. The only notification on the screen was the same one it had been all day, "DO NOT DISTURB: Calls and notifications will be silenced while your iPhone is locked."

Not that he was expecting notifications... or hiding from any. He was sure Twitter had enjoyed sharing the stream around like they normally did, he probably had some reports from Youtube already of people re-uploading his stuff, both things he didn't really care about.

He was sure he had a few new texts, probably some from his manager, and a couple more from his mom. Maybe some of his friends had watched today and shot him a comment on the new song. All maybes, because he wasn't going to look.

He wasn't hiding from anything, that's what he tried to reassure himself. It was just a song, didn't mean anything just like most of his songs hadn't for the last few years.

At this point in his career, Izuku had a schedule. Release a single in March, tease the album in April, a new single in May, album release in July. His life was carefully produced just like his music. All he had done today was show off a single, just like he was supposed to.

So what if he wasn't checking his phone? Clearly, things had been fine, and at this point it was late so no one would want a reply. He'd check his messages in the morning.

And so what if he wasn't coming out of his studio until he knew his boyfriend would be fast asleep?

He didn't even expect Bakugou to have heard it. Izuku had asked him years ago about his opinion on the popular song Deku had performed the acoustic version of on his stream, just for him to reply, "What? I didn't see it,"

and Deku, like the fool he was had assumed it was because Bakugou had a busy day, and so he offered to play the stream.

Bakugou hadn't looked up from the paper he was writing on when he said "Why? I never watch those, it's not like I've never heard you sing before."

So Bakugou didn't watch his streams when they happened, and he didn't listen to them later. Pretty on pare with the rest of his interest in Izuku's career recently.

He hadn't been to one of Izuku's concerts in years. He missed the event he had won "Artist of the Year" at.

He hadn't congratulated Izuku for his last album until almost a month after it had been released. Even that congratulations was nothing more than a "The album's great," and a kiss on the forehead as Bakugou passed him in the hall.

A far cry from the night he'd put out his second album when they were twenty-one.

Izuku's career had just started taking off after one of his songs hit the top of the charts, and in the last announcement, Bakugou had landed a spot in the top 20 hero rankings.

They didn't have much but they had each other.

While that had been enough for Izuku, Bakugou had made them dinner, Izuku's favorite, and surprised him with a beautiful cake he'd gotten from Sato. He even had a bottle of champagne that Izuku had once pointed out at the store.

It was without a doubt the worst thing he'd ever drunk in his life and Bakugou had spit some of his out on their first swallow after the toast. But they both managed to get down a glass before "forgetting" about the disgusting bottle.

They had both pretended to mourn its loss in the morning while dumping out the now bubble-free beverage.

It had been enough then because they had each other.

So what was the point now?

Sure, they were together, physically, but they had been closer in middle school. They had known each other better when they were shouting in each other's faces and Bakugou was charring Izuku's uniform.

Izuku could have told you then what sort of mood Bakugou was in that day. Could catch the moment of Bakugou showing off his new shoes to his friends. Knew when he was tired, or sick. Izuku didn't even try to ask him how his day went anymore.

Not like he had the chance to either.

He wondered if the younger versions of themselves would be proud to see them now? Those kids wouldn't care that they were both working day and night, every day of the year. They would look at them and see heroes. Finally, all of their wildest dreams had paid off!

Deku was the most-streamed artist of 2020 in the country's charts. And Dynamight? The pro hero had been Number One in the country for the last five years. This was everything they ever wanted when they were young.

Why couldn't they have wished for it a bit less?

Bakugou clearly hadn't heard the song. If he had he would have just come in and said something, the room wasn't locked. Or... maybe he did hear it and he had agreed with Izuku? Why did that make his heart race more than thinking he hadn't heard it?

It was dark as Izuku made his way towards the center of the house. There were two wings off the main area, one leading towards the few rooms Izuku had for his music. The other wing was one giant training room Bakugou used to fight in with his friends and coworkers.

Bakugou was rarely home these days. Taking bigger and longer missions, staying late at the office to finish reports, training at a gym near his work. Izuku assumed he would see as much of him today as he ever did, Bakugou's back as Izuku fell asleep in the bed next to him.

Which was why he was so surprised to enter their open living room on his way to head upstairs and to find Bakugou sitting on the couch, awake, with his elbows on his knees staring at his hands.

The rest is almost done! I’ll post it all in the morning so much for a short thread I guess, but this is good I’m practicing, remembering I’m supposed to keep these shorter than actual fics

"Are you leaving me?"

Izuku couldn't stop the huff of air that left his body at the question, "What?" he breathed out.

Sharp red eyes met his own as Bakugou looked up from his hands and straight at Izuku. They sparkled a little in the low light coming from the windows.

Meow Might was asleep next to Bakugou on the couch. Either oblivious to the pain his owners were going through or doing what he could to help it.

It was past his bedtime but Bakugou looked alert, his shoulders tense, his hands clasped tightly together.

“Are you going to leave me?” He asked again, he didn't look angry just... pained.

“That was the point of the song,” Izuku said with a sad smile, “I’m not strong enough to leave you.”

He could already feel tears pricking at the corner of his eyes, unsurprising for him at least.

"What if I don't tell you to leave? What if I just ignore it and go to bed and the world keeps spinning and things keep going like they always have?" He spoke through gritted teeth but Izuku knew it was a genuine question. All they'd done for years was ignore this, why stop now?

Izuku smiled at him, "Then nothing changes, nothing gets worse, nothing gets better."

Bakugou nodded and for a moment Izuku wondered if that was it. If they really were just going to ignore it, if they'd go lay down in bed next to each other and pretend today never happened.

Bakugou twisted his hands in front of him, looking away from Izuku while he sat there thinking. But he didn't leave and didn't pretend this wasn't happening so Izuku waited.

"Why did... I don't understand the lyrics." He said finally, quietly, like he was genuinely confused.

"Which ones?"

Bakugou turned his head to the side, not like he was having a hard time remembering the lyrics he wanted to repeat, but more like he didn't want to say them at all.

"You remind me every day I'm not enough but I still stay."

It was all Izuku could do to nod, and the movement finally set loose the tears that had been swimming in his eyes. They ran down his face freely, always such a crybaby.

But at the sight of his tears, Bakugou's expression pinched together.

“Baby, you are enough, you’re more than enough, you’re the only one there’s ever been, you’re it for me,” he stood up as he said it, his hands held out in front of him like if Izuku stepped into his arms it would all be better, all their problems would be gone.

Izuku’s sob came out choked as he shook his head. “If I was enough you would have been home for your birthday, or my birthday, or our anniversary,” he was angry as he spoke, but he felt like he had the right to be.

“If I was enough I wouldn’t have to find out you were in the hospital days after a fight from /Shouto/. I haven’t been enough for a very long time and I’m not trying to hurt you, Kacchan, but this is hurting me! I can’t keep doing this anymore."

"You’re right, I’m just like you because you are it for me, you’re it. You’re all I’ve ever wanted and you’re all I’ll ever want but somehow it’s so much worse to want you when you’re right here. You’re right here and I’m still alone.”
 Izuku's words came out choked, but true.

“I can’t do this without you, Deku."

Izuku couldn’t help but laugh, just a little, “You are doing it without me, Katsuki.”

Bakugou shook his head and stepped closer, “Don't ‘Katsuki’ me, don’t act like you don’t know me, no one will ever know me like you do.”

Izuku looked him in the eyes, he wanted to nod to comfort him, because it had felt as horrible to say as it must have been to hear.

“Do I seem happy? I have everything I've ever wanted in the palms of my hands and I have never been more miserable,” he threw his arms out to his sides as he spoke. The movement wasn’t aggressive, the comment didn’t sound like an accusation, but that didn’t stop it from hurting.

“Remember that shithole we lived in on the other side of town out of high school?” Bakugou didn’t wait for a reply, because of course, Izuku did. “When the pipes burst in the kitchen and we spent the day soaked and trying to mop up the water, remember that?

I was happier that horrible day than I have been this entire year.”

Izuku remembered they had stood in their kitchen in rain boots, mopping and trying to dry out their furniture with big fans. They had to throw out their table and chairs and boxes of things.

Izuku had gotten upset as they had gone through some of their soaked belongings and Bakugou had picked him up off the damp ground and just held him close in his arms with Izuku’s legs around his hips. They were just things, as long as the two of them were okay it would be okay.

“I’m sorry-“ Izuku started with a watery smile, remembering how they had clung together like a lifeline, wondering when that connection had been cut.

“No, no this isn’t your fault,” Bakugou got close to him and his hands hovered between them. Izuku could tell he wanted to reach out but didn’t know if he should. But he did, one hand came up slowly to cup one of Izuku’s cheeks.

Izuku had to stop himself from turning to hid his face into that hand, to look away from those dark searching eyes.

“You have nothing to apologize for-” Bakugou started but as he went to continue speaking Izuku cut him off.

Izuku snorted and started to shake his head, “There’s a ‘but’ coming in that sentence, are you kidding me?” Izuku took a step back away from Bakugou, away from his touch, the brief moment of comfort blinking out like a light.

“But,” Bakugou started with an open look, his hand coming out like an offering, “But, instead of one of us leaving I want to try something else.”

Izuku watched him. Bakugou's body language was open, his expression earnest, he was invested in this in a way Izuku hadn't predicted.

“What if we're not unhappy because we’ve been together for too long, but maybe we’re unhappy because we haven't been together?"

Izuku stood there frozen, staring at Bakugou and blinking. This was not the conversation he expected, not a solution he thought would be proposed.

“The news lately has been talking about this thing called a work-life balance,” Bakugou started and Izuku couldn’t help but laugh even as wet tears still trailed down his cheeks.

“We could try it, one of those forty-hour work weeks? We could start there couldn’t we?”

“What if you fall in the charts?” Izuku asked him a little breathless as he took a step closer.

“It’ll have to happen eventually, won’t it? If it happens now then it happens now,” Bakugou said, surprisingly with a smile on his face.

Izuku had continued to move closer, one of his hands now brushed across the fabric covering Bakugou’s stomach. The hand Bakugou had placed on Izuku’s face earlier now settled on the singer’s waist.

“What happens if you start falling in the charts?” Bakugou asked him right back.

“I’ve got a few number ones under my belt, who needs more than that? I shouldn’t be greedy,” Izuku replied with a matching smile, his voice in a whisper now as their bodies pressed together and their noses brushed against each other.

“Wanna go to the beach this weekend?” Bakugou asked, finally wrapping his arms around Izuku and pulling him close.

“It’s supposed-“ Izuku giggled as Bakugou started pressing kisses to his cheeks in a pattern he seemed committed to. “It’s supposed to rain this weekend!”

“Mmm, what about a hot springs then?” The kisses moved to Izuku’s neck with the question, he laughed when soft lips pressed against his skin in a way that tickled.

“That would be perfect, but next week we have your award ceremony and I have a show," Izuku replied a little giddy.

“Ugh let’s skip the ceremony.”

“You are the number one hero we can’t skip the ceremony!” Bakugou just sighed in acceptance against Izuku’s neck.

“Can we have sex in the bathroom again?” Bakugou asked, wiggling his eyebrows at Izuku and knocking their foreheads together.

“We are not young enough to get away with that anymore… but if you want to come to my show we can have sex in my dressing room after?” He didn’t have to say yes, part of Izuku still didn’t expect him to.

“I love post-show sex,” Bakugou said, he’d worked his way back up to Izuku’s face and his next kiss landed on the corner of his mouth.

“Yeah are you gonna be waiting for me when I’m done?” Izuku asked him, and the responding grin he got was almost lecherous.

"Yup."

Bakugou held Izuku's face steady before he spoke again, "I'll be there for you I promise. Just like you'll be there for me at the ceremony."

Izuku nodded with a smile, trying not to start crying again.

"I love you Deku, I'm sorry that I pushed you to the side trying to climb to the top just to realize I left the view with you on a different mountain."

Izuku was crying again, but he smiled as he spoke, "That's so fucking cheesy, I love you too, Kacchan."

Bakugou grinned and pulled their mouths together for a kiss. It was sweet but deep, full of emotions that had been missing for long enough both of them were desperate for it now. It was a searching kiss, trying to relearn each other through the slide of their lips together.

Izuku wrapped his arms around Bakugou's neck and laughed when he was scooped up, held tight in the love of his life's arms just like Bakugou had done when they were younger and Izuku had needed a break from their flooded floors.

He felt light again like Bakugou had picked up a weight off him just by lifting him in the air. Like if they were there to hold each other up they could make it anywhere, as long as they did it together.

~~

It was a good song and it was on his album, so occasionally he did have to perform it. Bakugou always seemed to know when he had though and would take the time later in the day to remind Izuku of all the things that song gave back to them instead of took away.

Izuku cut down on the hours he spent streaming each week. He started turning down press events and limiting his tour schedule. Bakugou got an assistant who started handling his paperwork for his missions and started letting the newer heroes take the out of town jobs.

The album Izuku released a few years later had a completely different tone from his last few. Softer love songs featuring artists he enjoyed partnering with and heartfelt lyrics that were tattooed in cursive across more than a few bodies.

Bakugou stayed at the top of the charts for years. Riding his number one title thankfully much longer than one of Izuku's songs about him being there. He was still up there years after they got married.

When Eri finally kicked him out of his spot he couldn't think of someone better to dethrone him.

Bakugou and Izuku sent her flowers when it happened. A note of "Congratulations" with their thanks mentioned as well.

They ended up being one of those funny old couples after they retired together. The ones who still cracked jokes at each other's expense and acted like high school students who just found out what love is. But they did it all together, and that was all they needed.

~~

Thanks, everyone! I hope you enjoyed this angsty fluff monster lol, which I think is very on-brand for me. It's long enough I'll likely edit this and add it on AO3 but I'll add a link when I do

Adding another link to the top which I should have done but thank you so much everyone that liked it!! I’m feeling the love https://twitter.com/theburningbread/status/1387612973816901636

Okay last tweet I’m adding to this thread lol but I put this fic up on ao3! Here’s the link to that post https://twitter.com/theburningbread/status/1391500224162529281