cw// blood, drugs

Tooru barrels into Hajime the moment he spots him, catching him completely off guard and knocking him off his balance. Far too much energy for someone who spent that many hours on a plane.

“You smell different,” Tooru remarks, his face pressed into the hollow

of Hajime’s neck. “I think you’re shorter too, all those heavy textbooks and stress weighing you down, maybe you’re going to get wrinkles.”

Hajime kicks him in the ankle. “I missed you too,” he says, allowing himself to collapse into Tooru’s embrace. Tooru snuffles against his

neck, presumably trying to determine what exactly Hajime smells like now.

For a brief moment, Hajime panics, thinking about lingering traces of the girl from a few nights ago, before remembering it shouldn’t matter, and realizing that Tooru is more likely referring to the

scent of weed that has already worked its way into most of Hajime’s clothing, courtesy of Brad.

Tooru bristles against Hajime, straightening up abruptly. Presumably, he’s just caught sight of Brad. Hajime raps him on the top of the head. “Don’t be an asshole, Brad’s really

chill. You’ll like him.”

“I’m always nice,” Tooru declares, his voice dripping false saccharine. He unpeels himself from Hajime, narrowing his eyes and sauntering over towards Brad. “You must be the roommate,” he says, smirking at Hajime.

Hajime groans, he’s told Tooru

numerous times now to not refer to Brad as “the roommate” and he knows he’s doing it right now just to be annoying.

“The best friend,” Brad replies slowly. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Tooru whirls around, glaring at Hajime. “Exactly what are you telling people about me?”

He’s propelled forward and straight back into Hajime when Brad slaps him on the back, claiming “I like him.”

They stay there, perhaps a bit longer than they should, Hajime holding Tooru before they make their way to the baggage claim.

Tooru rattles off a list of places he

wants to visit as they walk before Hajime cuts him off, reminding him how late it is. He should be feeling the exhaustion from the travel and from the jetlag, but he’s wired at the moment, too excited about seeing Hajime again, attempts to remind himself to tone it down and dial

it back.

Though the drive back to campus from the airport is relatively short, Tooru finds himself drifting off in the backseat of Brad’s car, and it feels weird, not having Hajime’s shoulder next to him to rest his head on. He curls up on the backseat instead.

A soft tapping of knuckles against the glass of the window wakes him back up.

“You can crash on my bed while you’re here,” Brad tells him as Hajime’s arm finds its way around his waist, holding him upright. “Hopefully we’ll get to hang some while you’re here.”

“I like him,”

Tooru tells Hajime, as Hajime guides him into his dorm.

Hajime tugs on his hair. “I told you you would.”

“It’s too early for bed,” Tooru protests, just outside the door of the building. “We should watch the stars.”

“You,” Hajime says, placing his hands on the sides of

Tooru’s face. “Are exhausted. And I have an early class in the morning. We both need to go to bed.”

Tooru tries, and fails to stifle a large yawn, and one of Hajime’s eyebrows raises.

It’s not until he wakes up for class the following morning, that Hajime allows himself a

moment to actually look at Tooru. He’s hanging half of Brad’s bed, face smooshed deep into the pillow. Hajime gently slides him back onto the bed.

He’s surprised to realize that Tooru is sporting a sizable dusting of freckles on his face. His skin has a light tan to it now as

well. Without thinking, Hajime reaches out, brushes at the freckles and Tooru’s eyes flutter open.

“Haji? What’re you doing?” Tooru mumbles, his voice low and husky.

What is he doing exactly?

“I have class soon. Just wanted to let you know so you’re less confused.” He wonders

if he should leave Tooru his key so he doesn’t have to stay cooped up in the dorm room all day. That’s probably fair. “I’ll leave you my key.”

“Mmkay,” Tooru says into the pillow.

They don’t really see much of each other until Friday night, and while Hajime is in class, Tooru

pokes his way around the campus and the surrounding areas, getting in some hiking and a tiny bit of sightseeing.

Friday night, they stroll around campus, heading up one of the large sprawling hills, and sitting out under the stars, catching up in terms of how school is going

so far, and how Tooru is fitting in with his new team.

The plan is to spend the entire day at the beach on Saturday, Brad has offered to teach Tooru how to surf, he has several spare boards.

“We’re not going to your usual spot, are we?” Hajime asks.

“Nah, we’ll go somewhere a bit more chill, toned down, no worries,” Brad replies, clamoring into the driver’s seat of his Jeep.

Tooru elbows Hajime in the ribs. “Why can’t we go to his usual spot?”

“Because, the waves there are too rough for you. They are, don’t give me that

look. You’ve never even surfed before. I don’t need to send you back to Argentina in a matchbox.”

Tooru crosses his arms over his chest, pouting at Hajime.

It doesn’t escape Hajime’s notice that Tooru also has a large scattering of freckles across his chest and shoulders, his

upper arms, down by his hips. It’s barely perceptible, but he seems to be just the tiniest bit more muscular now than he was when he left.

As if being around him weren’t already difficult enough, with how readily they gravitate into each other’s spaces.

They sit on the beach,

watching for a bit at first as Brad hits the water, testing the waves. Tooru’s mouth opens in a small “oh” of astonishment.

“I’m pretty sure he could surf competitively, if he wanted.” Hajime shrugs. “But he’s really not into that sort of thing, just does it because he loves

it.”

Brad waves Tooru down to the water and as far as Hajime can tell, begins explaining the most basic of moves in detail before the two of them hit the water. Hajime watches them paddle out, and he can practically feel the frustration radiating off Tooru because surfing is

far more complicated than Brad makes it look.

Tooru wipes out a handful of times, returns back to where Hajime is shaking the water from his hair all over Hajime until Hajime shoves him down into the sand, where they grapple for a bit until Hajime pins Tooru, and Tooru stares

up at him, with his large doe eyes and long lashes and those stupid freckles.

It should be a moment where Hajime kisses Tooru, but instead they stare at each other awkwardly until Hajime removes himself and Tooru peels back down to where the water kisses the shore, saying

something to Brad.

It’s amazing, how quickly Tooru adapts, but then again, he’s always been like that. Apparently he’s actually doing pretty good, Hajime thinks, until another wave knocks him off balance, sending him toppling into the water. He reemerges, smiling broadly and

flashing Hajime a thumbs up, giving Brad a high five as he nears the shore.

Brad heads back to catch another wave, but Tooru heads back towards Hajime. It’s not until Tooru is close that Hajime sees the steady stream of blood running down Tooru’s leg.

“Tooru what the hell happened?”

Tooru’s eyes flit down his leg as well. “Must have happened when the board hit me, no big deal.” He shrugs and perfectly rumples his hair.

“It is a big deal,” Hajime says, grabbing him by the wrist and dragging him all the way towards the

lifeguard station. “You have to be more careful, that looks bad, what if you need stitches?”

Tooru blanches a bit at the word “stitches” but follows along behind Hajime.

While the gash is fairly long, it’s not as deep as it could be, and after a few minutes, Tooru has his leg

all bandaged up.

“My first surfing injury,” he tells Brad, as if this were something to be proud of, and Brad launches into a lengthy explanation of all of his.

The night before Tooru is supposed to leave, the three of them are down on the beach, listening to the waves and

enjoying the night air. Brad is in the process of building a small bonfire and Tooru and Hajime are sitting huddled together. Tooru is shivering slightly.

“I told you to bring some kind of jacket,” Hajime chides in exasperation. “It gets cold out here at night.”

It’s taking Brad a while to get the fire started.

“Here,” Hajime says, pulling his hoodie off and handing it to Tooru.

“Always so concerned with me,” Tooru says as he accepts the hoodie, soft smile spreading over his face.

“Someone has to be.”

It’s another few minutes, before the bonfire roars to life.

“So what do you think of California?” Brad asks Tooru.

“It’s nice here, I like it,” Tooru replies.

“No place I’d rather be,” Brad affirms, lighting the joint he’s been rolling and falling back into the sand. He

exhales a cloud of smoke straight up into the sky.

Silence lapses over their little group, save for the crackling of the firewood and the lapping of the waves against the sand.

Tooru is staring pensively into the flames, his eyes downcast.

Hajime nudges at him. “What’s

gotten into you all of a sudden?”

It remains silent, as Tooru continues to stare into the flames. “Are you going to replace me?”

“Am I what?”

“Are you going to replace me?” Tooru’s voice is soft, as he tucks his knees up to his chest, not looking at Hajime. He nods in Brad’s

direction. “He’s a better person than I am, I wouldn’t blame you.”

Even in the low light of the flames, Hajime can see Tooru struggling to keep control over his emotions.

“I knew you said...we said…” Tooru corrects himself. “And that you’ve already begun trying to find

someone else, and that;s fine.” His voice wavers, as presumably he tries to hold back tears. “I know that I don’t have all of your heart anymore, and I’ve accepted that, I think.” He presses his face into his knees. “But is there going to be any room left for me at all?”

He doesn’t turn towards Hajime, and it’s at this moment, that Hajime wants more than anything, to kiss the frown off of Tooru’s face. Should.

“I’m not going to replace you,” is all Hajime says, scooting through the sand until he is pressed right up against Tooru. He does the

only thing other thing he can, which is to drape his arm around Tooru’s shoulders, and hold him close, resting his chin on the top of Tooru’s head.

He can allow them both that much, he thinks.

Any trace of the conversation from the night before is absent when they part ways at

the airport the next day, Tooru trying hard to remain chipper and upbeat, as he hugs Hajime goodbye, though they both know it’s an act.

It’s not until a few nights later, that Hajime thinks of their conversation again. He and Brad are down by the beach again, Brad sprawled out

beside him, finishing up his joint.

“You’re different with him,” Brad says.

“Huh?”

“With Tooru. You’re different with him. Than these other people you’ve been with.” He gestures up at the stars. “Happier. You care more about him. Softer.” Brad rolls over onto his side,

gazes at Hajime with extreme focus. “I don’t know why you’re trying to fight the fact that you’re still in love with him and he very clearly feels the same. Makes no sense bro.”

It makes no sense to Hajime either.