my coworker mary is one of those christian women who mean well but are super right, anti lgbtq, pro trump and hearing her talk about anything political cracks me up

“got a haircut today and it was so nice to not wear a mask!” “thank god hamilton county has some damn sense. everyone living in fear with these masks!”

me: what’s your favorite girl scout cookie, mary? i like thin mints.

mary: i don’t eat girl scout cookies. they donate to planned parenthood. have you seen those videos? they don’t do anything good there! i would never eat a cookie that supports that crap

for christmas she got me a bag of christian gifts. a faith bracelet, some little bible books, and a christian rock cd. she goes “i got this for you because you’re such a kind sweet christian girl” and i’m literally high as we were talking

me casually walking around the restaurant when i hear mary begin her “covid isn’t real” tangent