808’s and Heartbreak makes so much more sense to me now.

Having the talent to filter your emotion through creativity is a gift that should never be overlooked. Losing your mom is Hell, and everything around you changes...even if it’s in your mind.

You see the world waiting for the sun to go down. You don’t want to eat, because eating somehow feels like you’re moving on. Everyone is offering you help, but it’s clear they wouldn’t help you if you needed them for anything else. You would be seen as a needy bum.

People would never come to Long Island for any other endeavor, but will come to see me be fuckin sad that my mom is gone. People I’ve never even met copying and pasting “if you need anything let me know”. I’ve needed shit my whole life and y’all wasn’t there.

People offering “help”. What help can you give me? Being in my personal business when you didn’t care about me 5 days ago? I should ask you to send me food, when 4 days ago you would of laughed and called me broke? Nah man. I won’t arm you with more way to hurt me.

At what point would you want to sit and just talk to me, but you don’t even tune in to a show where I talk to myself for 20 minutes. Knock it the fuck off. I’ve been receptive to all this love but it’s artificial. If it takes for my mom to be gone for you to send love, keep it.

If I look unappreciative then I’ll be that. All this did was highlight I’m fuckin alone out here. In 2 months when my mom ain’t here and you hug yours, know that listening to me vent didn’t help me. You clearing your conscience don’t help me. All I see is pain and destruction.

The end.