TW: victim-blaming, SA

When it comes to stories about sexual assault & harassment, I always see people playing Devil’s Advocate because “people always believe the victim in today’s Me Too movement.” That could not be further from the truth and I’m tired of seeing it.

I think it’s important we address this misconception because the online environment around SA prevents a LOT of people from coming forward — whether that’s on social media, to the police, to their loved ones, or even personally coming to terms with what happened to them.

The #1 reason people tell me they don’t want to come forward about their own story OR they don’t want to publicly corroborate someone ELSE’s story is because of online backlash. So it’s infuriating to see people pretend that backlash doesn’t exist.

Especially on TikTok, where videos containing accusations get disseminated to more random individuals than your own trusted audience, the hate people receive is sick. It silences them. It makes them not want to pursue legal action or talk to anyone else about their experience.

When I see people victim-blame in this new way, where they pretend there’s no such thing as backlash anymore toward accusers, I get really discouraged. It’s hard enough to confront victim-blaming; it’s even HARDER to confront the idea that victim-blaming doesn’t exist anymore.

There's even a sense that victim-blaming NEEDS to exists because Me Too somehow flipping the scales toward accusers.

Those scales were never flipped. Most Me Too accusations didn’t end with a successful conviction.

The legal system is still often unkind, at best, to survivors. The public scrutiny is worse. All my sources for stories who exist online with their real name and real face have to deal with backlash every single time they open their mouth.

It’s okay to question an accuser. That’s literally my job. I ask accusers to explain and corroborate everything they’re alleging in excruciating detail, and then I ask them what is motivating them to come forward (albeit with more empathy than the internet does).

But once someone comes forward in the media or to an investigator who writes a story or makes a case, you actually don’t need to force them through this process again and again.

“Believe survivors” is a very pervasive mantra for a reason. However, at least personally, I think “take survivors seriously” is more apt. When people falsely complain about cancel culture/Me Too giving accusers all the power, they’re not taking them seriously.

End rant.