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i should supposed to tell you these but you won’t reply to my messages anymore.
i will open up the past again since i will confess what i feel and you might already know it
after the moment you gave up on me, i felt hurt to the point that i wanted to numb the pain and fake my happiness, in order to maintain my self-worth... i rushed and tried new things out and met other people (that foreign guy that i dated and i alrdy forgot his name)
i spent countless nights just trying to replace you and i just cant seem to do it... and i am discovering myself now and i like doing it, i like working on myself rn
how annoying might this sound to you, i am honestly still into you. i still have feelings for you and i dont know how long until this fade... funny how those sad and happy moments that we shared even in just via texting each other... its already forgotten by you because of course
you have someone new... i hate myself for still not being able to accept that.. but i forgive myself because i have been trying myself and i dont regret anything, even chasing you even after months have passed.. its worth it because i know i wont regret it because i tried
i also flirted with my exes trying to stay in the safe lane because i wanted to feel something that will make me feel something that you used to make me feel.. turns out it doesnt work like that... i thought i was healed already but im still not thats why i stopped talking with—
anyone.. because i know im still not ready for anyone in my life right now... i also tried to make you see that im so happy without you that im so in love with someone when im just really trying to make myself feel better by pretending that i no longer care about you or anything
