#Thread

A-Z of autism from a personal autistic perspective.

‘Z’s. Zealots, zeitgeist, and Zoom.

1/
Z was a tricky letter to form when I was first learning to write.

And in Scrabble the excitement of getting a ‘Z’ was soon supplanted by the disappointment of not being able to place it.

Z is known as zed, zee, or rather more charmingly ‘izzard’.

It completes the ‘A-Z’.

2/
The Magic Roundabout was part of my childhood.

Broadcast in 441 five-minute-long episodes from 18 October 1965 to 25 January 1977.

From age 5-17 I was captivated by Zebedee. I think it was the ‘boing!’ As much as anything.



3/
And of course Zebedee overlapped with another iconic character.

Zippy.

“Due to his frequently loud behaviour and silly voice getting him into all sorts of trouble, other characters in Rainbow occasionally zip his mouth shut for a short time, rendering him unable to talk.”

4/
I feel for Zippy.
“On at least one occasion he unzips himself, although he appears unable to do so on most occasions.”

I identify with him.
The other characters are having a discussion, when Zippy shouts: "But I don't want to talk, I want to sing! I'm very good at singing!”

5/
There are some fabulous ‘z’ words like zest and zeal which express the energy and excitement I feel for my intense interests.

Admittedly some of them have been quite zany, like when I became very interested in paraffin lamps.

I managed to enlist my partner into this too!

6/
I lived and worked in Norfolk for some time. The University of East Anglia had some wonderful brutalist, concrete ziggurats.

And the zabaglione at Umberto’s in Norwich (sadly now closed) was the best ever*.

*Only available if the restaurant was quiet.
No fast food there.

7/
Interesting how ‘zealot’ has acquired negative associations, whereas ‘zealous’ and ‘zeal’ are both used positively.

I could probably have been described as a ‘zealot’ in my pursuit of a few causes.

On the whole though, I prefer to be an activist, rather than a fanatic.

8/
One of the ‘Z’s that shaped my life was watching ‘Z Cars’ (and before that ‘Dixon of Dock Green’).

Of course when I became a police officer in the 1980s it was more like ‘The Bill’ or ‘Life on Mars’.

I worked with a PC just like George Dixon though.

https://vimeo.com/37854296 

9/
The ‘Z’ in ‘Z Cars’ stood for Ford Zephyr* (Zephyr originally meant a warm, gentle breeze).

*To be exact, a MkIII Ford Zephyr 6 with a 2553cc straight-six engine.

And to think when I joined all I got to drive was an Austin mini metro police car! 😂



10/
Zig-zags are also joyful things - whether in cloth cut by pinking shears or lightning in a cartoon.

‘Zig-zagging’ best describes how I walk, if not on a path, and how I used to shop, pre-Covid.

It’s not the most direct way to travel, but it’s often a more interesting one.

11/
I was listening to Zadok the Priest earlier. Although I’m not a royalist, or a monarchist, there’s something really powerful about this choral coronation anthem.

The introduction goes on for so long, lulling you, then the voices suddenly blast in.



12/
I love football.

“Champions League", the official anthem of the UEFA Champions League, was actually based on Zadok the Priest.

As Zinedine Zidane said:

“Magic... it's magic above all else. When you hear the anthem it captivates you straight away."

https://www.uefa.com/uefachampionsleague/news/022d-0e1636f1244a-c916aa410dad-1000--champions-league-anthem/?iv=true

13/
And what of the ‘Zeitgeist’ we find ourselves in?

Zeitgeist \\ ˈtsīt-ˌgīst , ˈzīt- \\ noun: the spirit of the time; the spirit characteristic of an age or generation.

Mid-pandemic, with the Prime Minister tangled up in a ‘cash for curtains’ scandal.

Strange times indeed.

14/
It seems that ‘cash for cushions’ is now a thing.

This is quite sweary (you won’t like it if you’re a Tory) but it sums up the situation well:



It also seems the PM won’t recuse himself from deciding whether or not he broke the ministerial code. 🤷

15/
As a child Zoom was an ice lolly shaped like a space rocket costing 6d.

‘Zooming’ was running about with hoods on our heads, coats streaming behind us like capes.

Zoomification of work and leisure took hold during the pandemic.

Only one letter away from zombification! 🤔

16/
My partner has been in 3 consecutive Zoom meetings this afternoon.

Current status Zzzzzz in his chair.

Although I can’t usually cope with horror films I must watch Shaun of the Dead again.

There’s something about this comedy cult classic that seems to fit current times.

17/
I’ve meandered all the way through the alphabet.

Here’s a poem by Julie Marie Wade on

Z

‘Citadel of our best names—angsty Zooey & chatty Zarathustra,
              wee Zaccheus & mighty Zorro. (Zebediah, of course,                              would place among them.)’

18/
‘Experiment in endings (A-Z), as in “where the A ends up,” the crooked path
              an A could take toward some arrival’s gate (zig-zag). 

Or Z-pack: superhero strength contained in capsules.’

19/
‘Like the 7, crossed or uncrossed, mustachioed or not,
              the Z with its dashing  good looks & flaming androgyny,                        its cursive tail & tiger purr. 

That Z, its maze of contradictions, shape-shifter & fortress of finality:’
             
20/
‘N’s topsy-turvy cousin, S’s more callous sidekick,
The stuff of caped-crusader skirmishes: ZAP! &  ZOOM!
Enabler of interjections (think Wowie Zowie! think Zoinks!)
              Symphonic doppelgänger shadowing xylophone &                                 disguise.’

21/
The verbage of bees, buzzing all day in a hive. 
Zeta or zed, its dialectical relatives, or the numeral 3,
              Z’s bodacious brother on its mother’s side.        
Ambiguous, flirtatious, & worth 10 points on the Scrabble board,’

22/
‘Z turns out to be quite the catch—zany, zesty, &                                      remarkably well-read.
But despite its zeal, Z can also communicate quietly, eloquent as an ideogram.’
             
23/
‘It’s raining, it’s pouring, the old man is snoring…
How do we know? Just look at the rocket of Zs rising out of his mouth.’

Julie Marie Wade

https://poets.org/poem/z 

24/
Zero.
The number that looks like nothing, but holds the world together.
“Zero is in the mind, but not in the sensory world,” Robert Kaplan
“...even tiny bee brains can compute zero. But it’s only humans that have seized zero and forged it into a tool.”
https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.vox.com/platform/amp/science-and-health/2018/7/5/17500782/zero-number-math-explained
25/
Two of my favourite songs have zero in the title:

Down to Zero - Joan Armatrading.

Love Minus Zero/No Limit - Bob Dylan.

There’s even a song called ‘Zero’ at the end of ‘Ralph Breaks the Internet’.

They’re all great songs, but if I had to choose one, it would be Dylan’s.

26/
I fell in love very deeply with someone who used to sing and play guitar.

He wrote his own songs, but also sang some by Dylan, including this one.

I can’t know, but I strongly believe that he was autistic, like me.

He died as the result of suicide, when he was only 33.

27/
‘My love she speaks like silence,
Without ideals or violence,
She doesn't have to say she's faithful,
Yet she's true, like ice, like fire.
People carry roses,
Make promises by the hours,
My love she laughs like the flowers,
Valentines can't buy her.’
28/
‘In the dime stores and bus stations,
People talk of situations,
Read books, repeat quotations,
Draw conclusions on the wall.
Some speak of the future,
My love she speaks softly,
She knows there's no success like failure
And that failure's no success at all.’
29/
‘The cloak and dagger dangles,
Madams light the candles.
In ceremonies of the horsemen,
Even the pawn must hold a grudge.
Statues made of match sticks,
Crumble into one another,
My love winks, she does not bother,
She knows too much to argue or to judge.’

30/
‘The bridge at midnight trembles,
The country doctor rambles,
Bankers' nieces seek perfection,
Expecting all the gifts that wise men bring.
The wind howls like a hammer,
The night blows cold and rainy,
My love she's like some raven
At my window with a broken wing.’

31/
This song reminds me of happy times in our relationship.

We had no money but we’d get enough from busking to buy the ingredients for a meal.

We even had pet names for each other, which I’ve never had with anyone else.

Love Minus Zero/No Limit.



32/
My ex partner died in 1986, but I’m still grieving him.

He was badly let down by mental health services.

What has actually changed since then?

Sometimes it seems like ‘zilch’.

People are still falling through the gaps.

This was true then, and it’s true now👇

33/ end 💜 https://twitter.com/northerlyrose/status/1360230033000914950
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