"John Lewis furnishings for those with taste and money of their own."

#CashForCushions

#PMQs

"Carrie, I desperately need a girlie for the team photos. We're a bit short in that department. Any ideas?"

"Allegra? Good suggestion. She'll look mean and moody. And she'll know not to stick her oar in? There's only one Karie on my team."

"Excellent! Buller, Buller, Buller!"

It's not all about having an interior designer choose soft furnishings for you #CashForCushions

Sometimes it's all about posing for your cameraman with your posse, including a mean and moody looking Allegra Stratton and a model of a classic Routemaster bus, made by someone else.

I gather Laura Kuenssberg is to be interviewed by Martin Bashir about there being three people in the relationship now that Cummings has outed himself as the third member of the threesome.

#CashForCushions

#PMQs

"Carrie, darling, mwah, mwah, I saw you Cummings, sorry, whatever was I thinking, coming."

"You're so right, John Lewis is for people with taste and their own money."

"How about a 1970s Indian restaurant crossed with a 19th Century Turkish brothel a Johnson might have visited?"

"Mr Speaker, does the Prime Minister agree with Dominic Grieve that the Prime Minister is a #VacuumOfIntegrity?"

#PMQs