I grew up in a religious community where haram music was never played, and strict parents who made sure it was never okay to listen to haram.
With that being said, I've always had a fondness for everything that sounded good, and made sure to surround myself with halal options.
With that being said, I've always had a fondness for everything that sounded good, and made sure to surround myself with halal options.
Instrumentals, nasheeds, latmiyas, dramatic Quran recitations, ebtehalat... you name it. Being an auditory learner as well made me even more appreciative of eloquent voices and the science of the maqamat (melodic modes). I even took professional courses to learn the maqamat!
And with that appreciation came the temptation to, of course, explore the world of haram music (because let's be real, it sounds mesmerizing), but I didn't. I've never actively listened to a song or searched one up to fully listen to.
Anything that did stick was from passively listening to whatever was playing in the background of bus drive or a walk in the mall, and boy was it good. Oh how I waited for a chance for a random song to just casually play as I passed so it could stick and I wouldn't be at fault.
It's unfathomable how much serotonin my brain releases when I hear haram music for a few seconds before I have to attempt to stop listening. I know this is weird but at times I'll even complain to my husband about how much life wouldve been more enjoyable had it been permissible.
But although my ego will occasionally tell me such things, deep down I know so well that there's wisdom behind it being forbidden. I know how much it would kill my soul and spirituality if I give in to listening to things that go against everything I want to represent.
I feel the dip when I passively listen, I can't imagine the kind of damage it would do to me if I willingly do it.
I know this all sounds really dumb, I get it, I really do lol but this is one of my struggles.
I don't listen to haram for the sake of Allah (swt) and it's hard, extremely hard, so I pray He recognizes my jihad & allows me to be of those who are granted the privilege of hearing the mesmerizing melodies of heaven. Sounds so breathtakingly beautiful, "No ear has ever heard".