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It was my first time babysitting alone, I think I was about 13.
I get the kids tucked in, I'm sitting there reading a book thinking I'm done for the night.
And then...
From the basement... there's this VOICE.
I get the kids tucked in, I'm sitting there reading a book thinking I'm done for the night.
And then...
From the basement... there's this VOICE.
I thought I imagined it at first, it was just such the stuff of horror films.
High-pitched, cracking, otherworldly.
I went back to reading.
And then... it started screeching again.
High-pitched, cracking, otherworldly.
I went back to reading.
And then... it started screeching again.
I went downstairs to the kitchen
I couldn't figure out what the words were, but they were unmistakably words, that much was clear.
Maybe they'd... left on a radio or something?
I couldn't figure out what the words were, but they were unmistakably words, that much was clear.
Maybe they'd... left on a radio or something?
I couldn't think what to do.
I locked the basement door and yelled "hello?" through it in my bravest little voice.
And friends...
That voice YELLED "HELLO?" RIGHT BACK UP AT ME.
I locked the basement door and yelled "hello?" through it in my bravest little voice.
And friends...
That voice YELLED "HELLO?" RIGHT BACK UP AT ME.
I shit you not.
Same creaky, high-pitched, otherworldly voice.
I am not superstitious.
I reasoned my way to the most logical conclusion, which was that an evil old lady was occupying the basement.
Same creaky, high-pitched, otherworldly voice.
I am not superstitious.
I reasoned my way to the most logical conclusion, which was that an evil old lady was occupying the basement.
At the same time, I knew this rationally seemed like a very unlikely scenario, and I didn't want to lose my new babysitting permissions by appearing to fake some sort of Arkham Asylum escapee situation for attention.
So I yelled down that I was calling the police (I didn't actually, for aforementioned reasons) and went to sit guard outside the kids' bedroom door shaking as this eldritch voice periodically cried out from the basement depths below.
When the parents got home, FINALLY, I stammered through an explanation of what had happened, trying to hedge somehow and not appear to be either a) kid hallucinating evil basement presences or b) a babysitter who failed to call the cops on a deranged killer in the basement.
They listened patiently, opened their mouths to respond, and
FRIENDS
FRIENDS
That was when I found out that these motherfuckers had a PET PARROT they'd moved to the basement because it kept waking the kids during naptime.
They just hadn't thought to mention it to me.
They just hadn't thought to mention it to me.
I shit you not.
Anyway that is how I became the one babysitter ever to escape the cackling basement axe murderer, and if you don't believe me I understand.
Because I STILL TO THIS DAY can't believe that it never occurred to them to warn me about that goddamn cursed bird.
Because I STILL TO THIS DAY can't believe that it never occurred to them to warn me about that goddamn cursed bird.
