In a book club chat with Joshua, the msub author of Real Service, and I tell you what, discussions with people with years of experience is a breath of fresh air
"You're not going to be in some magical subby mindset all the time, that's not how it works!' https://www.amazon.com/Real-Service-Epub-Joshua-Tenpenny-ebook/dp/B08L19QV18/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=real+service+joshua&qid=1619573916&sr=8-1&tag=dommechr-20

There's no magical 'mindset' in 24/7 D/s, no domly/subly nirvana they should feel. People wax lyrical about it, so when reality hits, they're confused & disappointed
There's not
What makes it work is navigating agreements & action *despite* not 'feeling' submissive/dominant

That's not as sexy or romantic or mystical, but it's the truth
If you grumpily think 'oh FFS, I just sat down' when your dom asks you to do something, that's normal, it's ok, truly
The question is: What do you DO then in the context of your agreed dynamic?

People also wax lyrical about how sharing all the thoughts is always good because 'communication', but if his thought is 'fuck you, I don't want to', do I want to hear that? Hell no
Does he actually want to say that to me? Also hell no

You can negotiate how to deal with those very real actually-happens situations in ways that help you both strengthen the dynamic
Create ways of using them. This vs expecting magical thinking to make all of that stuff just... go away because 'subspace' or something