Accepting social consequences and boundaries in response to harm done is literally integral to accountability, not counter to it.

Idk where tf some of y’all are coming from comparing that to carceral punishment but such comparisons are WAY out of line.

This is why I say time & time again that we need to be focusing on shifting towards & practicing liberatory VALUES instead of just focusing on language. Because language can literally always be morphed into supporting the status quo if there isn’t an accompanying shift in values.

We’ve got people using the language of transformative/restorative justice and abolition to argue for letting abusers keep their power and remain in spaces where they can continue to victimize people with no real accountability... which is literally already the status quo.

Clarification on the first point: accountability requires taking responsibility for harm done and recognizing the degree and severity of the harm as defined by the victims. You cannot do that and also be dismissive of the boundaries people put up in response to it.

When someone IS dismissive of people’s boundaries in response to that harm (ex: we don’t want to share space with you anymore), what that means is that they do not think that the harm they committed was really that harmful to begin with. They think the boundaries are unwarranted.

That is not what accountability looks like!! If you understand the level of harm you committed, and take it seriously AS HARM, then you also understand why people respond to that harm with boundaries!

If you don’t, then... you’re not being accountable, you’re just appeasing.