How many of you with Venus retrograde in your chart have a difficult, complex relationship with your mother? Maybe you’re estranged, or maybe you haven’t met your mother at all.

Those same complex patterns between them have developed in your relationships today.

I’ll explain:

Many times, we get told Venus retrograde in the chart shows someone who has issues with love, someone distant or who has numerous failed intimate relationships. It’s perpetuated as your fault.

It’s not your fault, but as an adult it is your responsibility to remediate.

To understand Venus retrograde, we must first understand Venus a little better. Venus is seen as the planet of love, relationships, (partly) sex and desire. She’s the driving force we look to when we seek out any form of intimacy. She teaches us our love language...

And the qualities our lovers must carry to form a committed relationship.

So what happens when we’re faced with Venus in retrograde motion?

Our qualities of love can seem averse, or just out of reach from what our heart desires.

Love takes on the form of security instead.

Security itself is dependant on emotional vulnerability, but the type of security a Venus rx individual is faced with usually sees them lost in their partner(s) or friends needs, as opposed to balancing their own to form a harmonious relationship.

Venus rules love, and our first love is usually felt through our mother. Not just from the moment of birth, but when we’re taking form within the womb. It is here that Venus’s sensory principle starts to relay messages the mother feels towards her child.

What Venus rx shows, is that the conditions of both pregnancy and birth lacked the peaceful atmosphere it required. In essence, the birthing process was painful and love is instead translated as grief, anxiety and depression.

You see, Venus is not just relationships, she is attachment itself. And the funny thing about attachment, is that it is LEARNT.

Venus retrograde shows us the conditions the mother was confined to and how she passes her pain onto the child.

That same child then grows up filled with attachment trauma. The mother may have had a repulsed attitude toward the child, viewing them as a product of something she didn’t want to experience. This can be seen in many cases like unaffordability or sexual abuse.

The mother may also view the child as a product of their disposal - for their use and control. Where she lacked control in her own life, she enforced debt and obligation onto the child. This is where attachment trauma forms. Where there should’ve been love, there was a void.

Babies learn from touch and are so dependant on it that they can die without physical touch even if their needs are met. With Venus rx, the mother was not in a position to be able to provide a loving atmosphere - either at fault of her own or because of external factors.

So this grows with the child. The Venus rx individual has not had an environment to fully understand love, support and to understand its desires. It retreats, views material things as if they’re underserved, and emotional exploits as bad because their body rejects it.

Remember, the body IS memory. This is what the Taurean side of Venus teaches us - we experience everything through our physical senses. If the touch of our mother was cold, that’s then translated into the body and subconscious.

If there was no touch from the mother at all, the body loses the critical shared bonding process required to understand how to find warmth with another. It’s really hard to rectify. You see, Venus’ values are so ingrained into the mind and body, that they can be hard to re-work.

So the individual struggles throughout its early life and Venus has had to form harsh defence mechanisms to protect the heart. Venus tried to mother itself, but this is hard as a child because we fail to recognise that Venus grows and matures with us. It learns just as we do.

People with this placement are usually faced with difficulty with intimacy because they’ve grown to know Venus in a state of conflict, where she only knows how to survive instead of nurture. This is reflected in our finances, our friendships and our relationships.

So it causes strain that is carried throughout life and usually causes the individual to resent the mother, move away from them or continue to obligatorily appease their values to feel an ounce of affection.

It’s important to understand that most of what you deal with in your relationship with your mother, is what she’s also dealt with in her relationship with her mother. The way she parents you is a reflection of her own parenting.

This is why Venus rx individuals should always consider that while no derogatory and hurtful actions should be excused, it should be understood that this is all their mother knows. It’s how she’s been taught to provide affection. Their affection is usually earned.

So Venus rx individuals have a responsibility to understand their mother, but also understand that which she has lacked - so they know what voids exist in their own values they share with other people. It’s why Venus rx people should be wary about meeting others...

Who replicate their mother’s behaviours. Many things can be triggered through others that are reflective of the maternal relationship.

It’s also why when working through it, you have to consider that you are NOT your mother just as much as you are her.

Yes, you carry many notions she does, but you have every opportunity to re-work those notions into something positive. Shame must be engineered into vulnerability. Guilt is engineered into honesty. Attachment trauma becomes co-regulation instead.

Harmony can be formed.

But it takes time, devotion and a lot of compassion. You must continue to be kind to yourself even if it feels alien to you. You must hold space for yourself.

Esoterically, Venus needs to be worshipped. In this same way, you need to provide worship to your body and spirit.

That means devoting yourself to understand what needs actually fit you inherently. Sifting and filtering your values so that you can approach your environment with ease and not caution.

I promise you, it gets better when you start to trust and celebrate yourself a little more.

In essence, the key themes are to re-parent the self with grace. Re-incubate yourself and understand what notions you do want to continue and those you wish to remove.

Give yourself time to find joy.

Know that love surrounds you, you just need to familiarise yourself to it.