i’m about to get really personal. i should just put this in a journal but oh well here i go... so i was wondering if like the universe puts me in certain situations to teach me things. like for ex: deep down i want to be liked & accepted by everyone. that’s extremely unrealistic.

i’ve found that ever since i was little, i was placed in situations where someone targeted me or hated on me for no valid reason. it was always something out of my control that they hated or bullied me for. so being me, i’d try to neutralize the situation.

i’d panic & be anxious & just try to hear their side & reason w them. they were never coming from a place of reason though. you can’t reason w/ the unreasonable. they always came from a place of ego or just pure hatred. they didn’t care about my feelings they just saw their side.

i would never retaliate & sometimes even shrink myself because my body & mind recoiled at the thought of me making someone this angry. even if it was unintentional on my side (it always was). so now as an adult, i’ve noticed i’ll stay drama free for awhile. coasting.

this is easy for me to do because i mind my business & engage in the simple pleasures of life. i focus all my attention & love on the people & things i love. it’s a blissful life. but sometimes drama just finds me & i’m targeted. i try to neutralize again & defend myself...

never works. so it got me thinking, maybe the universe will keep sending me these curve balls until i respond in a different way. bc i still respond the same way. panic & trying to get them to see my truth & that i’m not as bad as their mind has painted me to be.

i’m fully aware they are displacing and projecting onto me but i still give them the time of day & i still try to plead my existence to them. it’s pathetic really? ofc the way i was raised plays a huge part in this. my upbringing definitely made me feel rejected & insecure.

so i work overtime as an adult to be liked & that’s cool. i enjoy being polite & spreading love but i know what the universe wants me to internalize is that... people are gonna fucking hate your guts girl. most times for no reason. you need to be okay with that.

you need to accept that no matter what you do or say, this person has a view of you & you’ll always be that in their head. & it isn’t your job to change that view. why should you? do you love you? the answer is yes, so that’s all you need. that’s what really matters.

so to anyone that suffers from this people pleasing syndrome like... just stop babe. you are worthy & deserving of respect. the moment they rob you of respect you need to close the door. don’t waste a drop of energy because there are more important things that deserve your time.

they’re going to feel how they feel because they already made up their mind. they are committed to misunderstanding you. they are committed to projecting onto you. they are committed to taking out their frustrations onto you. they are committed to not seeing you for who you are.

that’s not the approval you want anyways. focus on yourself & the ones that see you for who you are & your truth. that will empower you & protect you everyday. you deserve the same kindness & consideration you give to others. be well. ♡

my beautiful aquarius moon friend just shed some great wisdom i’d like to share and add here as well. she’s @foulweathered & i love her.

“i’m not perfect, but i’m a good person. other people’s reactions to me are their business. it’s hard to internalize that but it’s really that simple. approach people who dislike you with empathy and distance.”

“understand that they are hurt people and that you may have unintentionally triggered something in them but that someone being upset by your existence is not a reflection of your quality of character or action! you stay in your own lane, these people are seeking you out.”

“because they wrongly view you as the stressor” or aggressor.

i hope this finds you all well so much love to you. be kind to others.