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I didn't even know this but what I really like about #ShadowAndBone 
is Alina breaking free from the Darkling. I did a thesis that had to do with toxic love myths told by the media, and Darklina would have been another abusive relationship we've been romanticizing for centuries. https://twitter.com/sulisaint/status/1386865528539688963
is Alina breaking free from the Darkling. I did a thesis that had to do with toxic love myths told by the media, and Darklina would have been another abusive relationship we've been romanticizing for centuries. https://twitter.com/sulisaint/status/1386865528539688963
I grew up being mentally and physically abused by my biological father. We fled from our home. As I grew older I started to notice how men like my biological father were often love interests in media stories, including 50 shades of abuse that was considered to be feminist.
I developped issues with romantic movies because stalking, crossing physical boundaries, pure manipulation, being cruel, not accepting rejection, were often the key to getting a woman.
It is my personal opinion that many people confuse dominance with abuse. A man can be dominant while accepting rejection. A man can be dominant while respecting a woman's boundaries.
Hanging in a ferris wheel and threatening to kill yourself if the woman doesn't want to go out with you isn't romantic. It's manipulative and abusive.
When a woman goes to her family and says she needs time for herself it is not romantic to follow her. It is again abusive.
When a woman says she did not like being spanked and the man says he can't wait to do it again, it is not sexy. It is abusive.
Just to name some examples from your favourite romance stories.
The problem is those narratives aren't limited to the media and are narratives women believe in themselves. They grow up with thousands of stories about the 'one' woman changing the beast his behaviour.
As for myself, I was nearly killed by a man I dated last year while writing that freaking thesis. Even while I know so much about this topic, I still fell into a trap. I can still be triggered into having a panic attack.
I graduated after I left that man, and I try to see it as a personal development graduation as well. I was objective and did not let my personal opinion guide me throughout my thesis. However I found the most amazing books ever that confirmed what I observed.
I'd like to recommend the work of Mary-Lou Galician if you are interested in this topic! Her work helped me a lot with my thesis!
(I analysed how those love myths are being portrayed in the series 'You'. I didn't understand why so many women are attracted to Joe and claimed it was a romantic show and hated on the women whereas it was a thriller to me).
That series is even better once you've read those books!!!!!
