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I didn& #39;t even know this but what I really like about #ShadowAndBone 
https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt=""> is Alina breaking free from the Darkling. I did a thesis that had to do with toxic love myths told by the media, and Darklina would have been another abusive relationship we& #39;ve been romanticizing for centuries. https://twitter.com/sulisaint/status/1386865528539688963">https://twitter.com/sulisaint...
I grew up being mentally and physically abused by my biological father. We fled from our home. As I grew older I started to notice how men like my biological father were often love interests in media stories, including 50 shades of abuse that was considered to be feminist.
I developped issues with romantic movies because stalking, crossing physical boundaries, pure manipulation, being cruel, not accepting rejection, were often the key to getting a woman.
It is my personal opinion that many people confuse dominance with abuse. A man can be dominant while accepting rejection. A man can be dominant while respecting a woman& #39;s boundaries.
Hanging in a ferris wheel and threatening to kill yourself if the woman doesn& #39;t want to go out with you isn& #39;t romantic. It& #39;s manipulative and abusive.
When a woman goes to her family and says she needs time for herself it is not romantic to follow her. It is again abusive.
When a woman says she did not like being spanked and the man says he can& #39;t wait to do it again, it is not sexy. It is abusive.
Just to name some examples from your favourite romance stories.
The problem is those narratives aren& #39;t limited to the media and are narratives women believe in themselves. They grow up with thousands of stories about the & #39;one& #39; woman changing the beast his behaviour.
As for myself, I was nearly killed by a man I dated last year while writing that freaking thesis. Even while I know so much about this topic, I still fell into a trap. I can still be triggered into having a panic attack.
I graduated after I left that man, and I try to see it as a personal development graduation as well. I was objective and did not let my personal opinion guide me throughout my thesis. However I found the most amazing books ever that confirmed what I observed.
I& #39;d like to recommend the work of Mary-Lou Galician if you are interested in this topic! Her work helped me a lot with my thesis!
(I analysed how those love myths are being portrayed in the series & #39;You& #39;. I didn& #39;t understand why so many women are attracted to Joe and claimed it was a romantic show and hated on the women whereas it was a thriller to me).
That series is even better once you& #39;ve read those books!!!!!
