We relish working with the sickest patients & are privileged to walk the most agonizing paths with their families. It’s the impending sense of being overwhelmed at any moment that is grinding us down. It’s that we are here again, as though we have not learned that’s demoralizing.

I am constantly amazed by the heavy lifting our administrators do to adapt and keep things running. They must be feeling this weight as much as we do. The added pressure of being in a leadership role must be immense. I hope they have support too.

You won’t hear it from them. That job doesn’t allow a lot of disclosure, but they are fine people, doing their absolute best in really difficult situations. It’s a job I could never hack, and it is essential to keeping our hospitals running.

I say this knowing that if they feel even close to the way I do right now that they will need kindness and support as well. I think we are all showing the strain. We are all looking for higher moral leadership from our government.

So, how am I going to help? I think that it’s time to acknowledge that cracks are showing. That my temper is shorter, and I’m not leading as well as I should be; acknowledging my frustrations and my limitations. Acknowledging compassion fatigue as more than a buzzword.

The solutions will be harder. Insight is only part of the journey to self improvement. We all need a viable plan. Mine has always revolved around my family and the outdoors. Healthcare workers often suffer guilt around being tired or unavailable. I’m not going to oversimplify it.

Yes, this is complex. It’s taken me awhile to get here, but the purpose of this thread is to acknowledge your pain and suffering, & to give you a little space to grieve, even if you’re not there to take it just yet. Because I think that’s what I’m doing right now. #PeaceAndLove