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FPL STATS OF SHITHOUSERY ππππ πππ‘π
ππππ ππ πππ ππππ
GW XXXIII
The Titans of Turgidity
Let's see which muppets made a stain on the couch this week
Dive in folks
ππππ ππ πππ ππππ
GW XXXIII
The Titans of Turgidity
Let's see which muppets made a stain on the couch this week
Dive in folks
Leno β 5.0 β ARS
Leno has kept 9 clean sheets and made 76 saves this season. Emi Martinez has made 117 for his 14 clean sheets, playing in a supposedly worse team.
This was before Bernd his bridges by spaffing the ball into his own net.
Like a Duck-nosed Shit Socket.
Leno has kept 9 clean sheets and made 76 saves this season. Emi Martinez has made 117 for his 14 clean sheets, playing in a supposedly worse team.
This was before Bernd his bridges by spaffing the ball into his own net.
Like a Duck-nosed Shit Socket.
Boly β 5.4 β WOL
Wolves βwelcomed backβ Penis Boly into the team this weekend and went flacid faster than you can say Chris Wood
Boly made multiple errors, didnβt attempt a single tackle or block the entire match and was about as useful as an abandoned effigy
A horror show.
Wolves βwelcomed backβ Penis Boly into the team this weekend and went flacid faster than you can say Chris Wood
Boly made multiple errors, didnβt attempt a single tackle or block the entire match and was about as useful as an abandoned effigy
A horror show.
Kabak β 5.0 β LIV
A player who surely won't venture into the first team again once the injury βcrisisβ eases next season.
Like the ghost of Phil Babbβs past, Kabak wanders around the pitch like a shepherd awaiting salvation.
He has the positional sense of a drunk 2 year old.
A player who surely won't venture into the first team again once the injury βcrisisβ eases next season.
Like the ghost of Phil Babbβs past, Kabak wanders around the pitch like a shepherd awaiting salvation.
He has the positional sense of a drunk 2 year old.
Mings β 5.4 β AVL
A sham of a defender whose physical attributes (heβs big, heβs strong, he has cool fucking hair) continue to mask his obvious failings as a footballer
Give him a season playing in front of Leno and see how good he looks then
Surely canβt go to the Euroβsβ¦
A sham of a defender whose physical attributes (heβs big, heβs strong, he has cool fucking hair) continue to mask his obvious failings as a footballer
Give him a season playing in front of Leno and see how good he looks then
Surely canβt go to the Euroβsβ¦
Balbuena β 4.1 β WHU
Oh VAR, how we missed you for a week feigning our surprise that unfettered capitalism could eventually lead to unsustainable revenue streams for the elite.
Obviously, this decision was a bit bollocks. Although itβs not the first time Iβve had a Bad-Bhunaβ¦
Oh VAR, how we missed you for a week feigning our surprise that unfettered capitalism could eventually lead to unsustainable revenue streams for the elite.
Obviously, this decision was a bit bollocks. Although itβs not the first time Iβve had a Bad-Bhunaβ¦
Trossard β 5.7 β BHA
Imagine being the creative lynchpin up against the worst team in the league and posting these stats
Attempts 0
Chances Created 0
Through Balls 0
Successful Crosses 0
xG 0.00
xGI Delta -0.05
Yes. That last one was a minus.
Like, what the fuck man?
Imagine being the creative lynchpin up against the worst team in the league and posting these stats
Attempts 0
Chances Created 0
Through Balls 0
Successful Crosses 0
xG 0.00
xGI Delta -0.05
Yes. That last one was a minus.
Like, what the fuck man?
Jota β 7.1 β LIV
Like a pissed-up pirate, Jota swashbuckled around the pitch like it was one gigantic plank he had been made to walk.
Hauled off with scurvy before he could do permanent damage to himself, along with what he had already just done to his teamβs top four hopes.
Like a pissed-up pirate, Jota swashbuckled around the pitch like it was one gigantic plank he had been made to walk.
Hauled off with scurvy before he could do permanent damage to himself, along with what he had already just done to his teamβs top four hopes.
BruNo β 11.5 β MUN
His creativity waning, his vision nowhere near as superhuman as it once was and his shots getting further away from goalβ¦ itβs pretty clear that Bruno Fernandes is jaded as fuck
Like the embers left on the fire after a great party, it's time to say goodnight
His creativity waning, his vision nowhere near as superhuman as it once was and his shots getting further away from goalβ¦ itβs pretty clear that Bruno Fernandes is jaded as fuck
Like the embers left on the fire after a great party, it's time to say goodnight
Lingard β 6.6 β WHU
The biggest fraud since data began finally blanked this week.
Because an xG of 0.08 was never sustainable unless heβd been sat on @FPLviKing's bench.
He was absolute dogshit from start to finish
Loser even lost his dance title to @BigManBakar
The biggest fraud since data began finally blanked this week.
Because an xG of 0.08 was never sustainable unless heβd been sat on @FPLviKing's bench.
He was absolute dogshit from start to finish
Loser even lost his dance title to @BigManBakar
Pepe β 7.6 β ARS
Yet another performance that was more like watching a lonely mouse calling out for a mate, than a Β£72m professional footballer try and put a ball in a net.
What a terrible player Pepe really is.
An absolute galactic gutter git of titanic proportions.
Yet another performance that was more like watching a lonely mouse calling out for a mate, than a Β£72m professional footballer try and put a ball in a net.
What a terrible player Pepe really is.
An absolute galactic gutter git of titanic proportions.
Maupay β 6.0 - BHA
Only 5 forwards have had more shots than Neil Maupay this season.
The Brighton number 9 is among the league leaders in the increasingly more prominent metric of βxLivelyβ
For those of you not up with the latest stats... this means he's a fraud.
Only 5 forwards have had more shots than Neil Maupay this season.
The Brighton number 9 is among the league leaders in the increasingly more prominent metric of βxLivelyβ
For those of you not up with the latest stats... this means he's a fraud.
He has scored just 5 goals from open play, from 65 shots.
A 7% conversion rate below the likes of Firmino, McGoldrick, Benteke & Joelinton.
Below Joelinton
JOELINTON
Did you even see that guy on Saturday? He can't even run?
He makes me cry my own tears.
One Love. HM.
A 7% conversion rate below the likes of Firmino, McGoldrick, Benteke & Joelinton.
Below Joelinton
JOELINTON
Did you even see that guy on Saturday? He can't even run?
He makes me cry my own tears.
One Love. HM.
