Thread by @sun_flowerkith, Non-Monogamy Word Vomit Thread:-This is just me talking, keep in mind that [...]

Non-Monogamy Word Vomit Thread:
-This is just me talking, keep in mind that generalizations are harmful
-Ur welcome to talk with me!! I like hearing other takes
-I don& #39;t expect anyone to sit down n read this, this is for me

I started this bc I was Thinking about the idea of affection and intimacy w/ friends, n how the mononormative/Nuclear/Sex Is Shameful mindset we& #39;ve been brought up in has been Damning to so many generations, not just mine.....like whewi

I think the main issues I see right off the bat are:
-Christianity& #39;s link to sex n pleasure as sinful
-the 75 year old Nuclear Family/Suburbia/Picket Fence Life
-Slutshaming culture n& #39; it& #39;s prominence directed at queer/black/minority spaces
-The Relationship Escalator*

*the relationship escalator is the metaphorical projection of the nuclear family plot: Date, Move In, Get Married, Have Kids, Send Those Kids To College, Rinse n Repeat. It& #39;s harmful n puts unnecessary pressure on the pace of romantic relationships*

N& #39; this is very general but these really cn& #39;t be split up, all of our circumstances are intertwined n untangling them is unnecessary. Its just what I can pick out right now.

I think it& #39;s also n issue with the generalization of certain topics instead of what it is: a decision between 2 consenting people who have n interpersonal relationship with each other.

From my point of view, the conflict that I see both online n in person is that when someone sees the phrase "& #39;m going to kiss/fuck/marry all my homies", of which the frequency has increased due to pandemmy, it& #39;s very easy for people to think that that or anything akin//

//to that (i.e. "I want to fuck all my friends, they& #39;re so hot, oh my god") literally means "Friendship with me requires all forms of physical intimacy, including sex, n that is a non-negotiable part of being my friend" which.....is not true for a laundry list of reasons

The first reason being that that& #39;s unreasonable, full stop.
Second reason is that whether you want it to or not it builds a wall between you n that person because of how you suddenly view the way they live their life (in this case it& #39;s obvi neg)

The third being that the literal translation that runs through people& #39;s heads, n I do not omit myself from this, has a direct correlation to all the issues I listed above. The idea that sex is a limited and sacred act, the idea that sex is for people who are riding //

//the relationship escalator n that it must least to romantic affiliation, and commonly, the idea that expressing sexual openness sets a bad example, as individuals that are part of a minority are frequently forced to represent that identity as a whole, have a GORILLA GRIP on us

This creates, personally, a complicated mix of abandonment of the old n adornment of the new (or not-so new if you& #39;ve read any nonmonogamist history)

On this topic though I think that it& #39;s important, if you are open in that way, to sit and have those conversations with people you want to be physically intimate with. Don& #39;t get me wrong, I love "heat of the moment, no words needed," as much as the next person, but like--

The lot of my friend group is full of neurodivergent and mentally ill people with high anxiety who misinterpret or straight up don& #39;t understand nonverbal ques and hints. So as hard as those conversations are, if your relationships (friends, dating, w/e) cannot benefit from//

The open communication you can extend to a partner/someone you& #39;re "supposed" to have those conversations with, and that& #39;s something you NEED to talk about in your friendships no matter the outcome, I don& #39;t think it would hurt to reevaluate some things

(I& #39;ll definitely add more to this thread later but my brain is done for tonight xoxo)

Latest Threads Unrolled: