me watching @lieutfaber play nier replicant: BALLS! BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i can't figure out what's going on in this game because i keep getting distracted by liam o'brien's voice

why is liam o'brien a sassy notebook

. @lieutfaber: the guys with the balls have the rare drops!
me: sound cissexist
@lieutfaber: well, they're harder
me: ...the guys with the balls are harder...?

liam o'brien composition notebook: this perfume smells like roses
me: YOU ARE A GLORIFIED POST-IT NOTE HOW CAN YOU SMELL???

i see no difference

i'm honestly still stuck on "why does this boy's diary talk?"

and why are all the robots from WALL-E trying to kill us??? this game is very strange

i do enjoy the big red magic fisty thing that looks like it should be in a roger rabbit film

my REAL question is why can't my composition notebook in the Sims 4 follow me around like grimoire weiss? that would save me a lot of heartache

so far @lieutfaber has fallen into The Hole seven (7) times

jess: *gently picks up mouse*
game: you receive a mouse tail
me: HORRIFIED

"the aerie. they have shades there." oh, we're going to the shade mall!

jess just crashed her boar

grand theft boar-to

sassy liam o'brien: this silence bodes ill
me: you know what should be silent? YOU, MR BOOK MAN

OOH WE GOT THE BIG BALLS NOW

why does this lizard boss have butt fingers

wait it has butt fingers and twenty seven boobs??? and BALLS EVERYWHERE

WOW I DON'T KNOW WHO KAINE IS BUT I LOVE HER please swear at me more mommy

jess: oh no it's throwing someone's house at me!

I just misread some ambient dialogue as "You brought Santa here!" and boy does that change the tone of this video game.

anyway i would like kaine to step on me

how am i supposed to take this titty lizard seriously when we just pick it up with a bit magic hand and yeet it

jess: do i have to go by its face? i don't want to go by its face!
me: GIVE IT A SMOOCH

can i donate to the Get Kaine Pants fund???

i appreciate this woman in a negligee just cursing like a pirate

IS THE TITTY LIZARD GRANDMA???

am i tweeting spoilers? i don't even know

i would marry kaine if i thought it wouldn't kill me