Tw/ self harm/suicide
A few weeks ago I felt like I was drowning. I started to imagine I was burdening those around me and pulled into myself. I was experiencing so much harassment I felt like I would never get out from under the weight of it. It was on every platform (cont)
A few weeks ago I felt like I was drowning. I started to imagine I was burdening those around me and pulled into myself. I was experiencing so much harassment I felt like I would never get out from under the weight of it. It was on every platform (cont)
And I started to have more and more anxiety. I talked to my therapist. Upped my medication but kept feeling pressure to not let people keep me from doing the one thing I loved. But I started to fear everytime the camera was on that hate would then thrwaten my peace (cont)
And it did. I felt really over whelmed and then convinced myself my friends were tired of hearing my fears and my "drama" and started isolating and self harming to cope. I haven& #39;t self harmed in years. I then decided I couldn& #39;t exist in any space because nothing I did would make
This hate stop. So I attempted. And I failed. And I kept smiling and pushing through bc I felt this fear that I would be letting people down. If I just said things were too much. I& #39;m now moving out of that headspace and wanna tell you if you& #39;re feeling those things
You& #39;re valid. And needed. And you don& #39;t have to fight every fight and there are real friends around you. Who will be there and hold your hand and you aren& #39;t a burden to them. You are a gift. And your life is one. And this space is awful. It will lie to you. It will bring u low
People will enjoy your pain in these spaces and mock you and kick you when they see you are down. But people will also rally around you. And help you. And care for you. So when it is so very dark remember to look for the light if not in yourself in others around you.
Putting this out there is probably stupid. And offering myself up for more sneers and more people enjoying my pain. But it also might let someone know they aren& #39;t alone. And that we all feel so damn desperate at times and that you have to keep seeking help. Keep living. Keep on.