Since we’re talking about rape, can we also talk about the victims who are mostly ignored, given less coverage by media, and many are even still oblivious that they can be raped?

Let’s talk about male rape victims.

Many cases of male rape go unreported due to the stigma attached to it. The US Centres for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) conducted a study from 2010 to 2012 and found that one in 17 men reported being forced to penetrate at some point in their lives.

Official figures for the rape of males in some countries are hard to come by. Many countries consider rape as a gendered crime; in Malaysia, the legal definition of rape is forcing one’s penis to penetrate (if I’m not wrong). Legally, men can’t be raped, especially by women.

The main reason that fewer men come forward is that society assume that they should be strong and invulnerable, that they should fight back. If it happens, they have allowed it to happen.

Like I said, society thinks men are strong and invulnerable, so if they’re raped, they were willing. If it’s by other men, then they’re gay. If it’s by women, well the concept of female on male rape is still alien to many. Because after all, men are “stronger than women”.

Because of this gender stereotyping, rape is seen as a gendered issue, and male victims often suffer in silence. There are more bodies and organisations that cater specifically for female victims than male victims. This applies to other issues as well, such as domestic violence.

According to Malaysian Medical Association (MMA) president, Dr N K S Tharmaseelan, male victims are often left to suffer alone. Males can be more damaged by society's refusal or reluctance to accept their victimisation and that they must tough it out in silence.

Researches has also uncovered more. In 2014, Lara Stemple, Director of UCLA’s Health and Human Rights Law Project, came upon a statistic that surprised her: sexual victimization by women is more common than gender stereotypes would suggest.

In incidents of sexual violence reported to the National Crime Victimization Survey, 38 percent of victims were men. For years, the definition of rape was gendered, requiring “carnal knowledge of a female forcibly and against her will.”

Recently though there was a redefinition of rape, focusing instead on forced penetration with no mention of gender. Meanwhile, other data-gatherers had started to track a new category of sexual violence that the Centers for Disease Control call “being forced to penetrate.”

Singapore proposed a bill recently to expand the definition of rape so that men could also be considered as victims of rape and voyeurism. Male rape is also recognised as rape by sexual assault in the Philippines. There is progress. I hope Malaysia will follow suit.

The laws regarding rape need to be changed to gender neutral and not bound to toxic gender stereotypes. Men are afraid that people will doubt their sexual orientation and label them homosexual or that they may be seen as un-masculine because they were a victim.

What are the myths propagated by gender stereotypes?

• Males are invulnerable
• A physically weaker person (female) can’t rape a physically stronger person (male)
• Males always want sex
• The world is patriarchal, therefore males are not as negatively affected as females

And perhaps the most misunderstood thing regarding male consent: if you’re hard, you want it. Male erectile response is involuntary, meaning that a man need not be aroused for his penis to become erect; mechanical stimulation is all that is necessary.

Another misunderstanding, that because rape is “forced” therefore the rapist must be physically stronger. Rape, or forced sex, can also be done through threats and manipulations instead of physical force.

One must also not forget the weight of female voice regarding victimhood. In my own personal case, I was threatened by my female rapist to be (falsely) reported for sexual harassment, unless I comply and let her have her way with me. Only years later I realised I was raped.

This all comes down to the toxic gender stereotypes that our society had propagated for generations: women are weak, angelic, could do no wrong, while men are strong, invulnerable, always want sex, and would force women to have sex with them.

I hope with this thread I could shine some light regarding male rape victims. Rape can happen to both sexes, by both sexes. Therefore it is my stance that rape shouldn’t be viewed as a gendered crime, simply because it isn’t. I urge lawmakers to make rape a gender neutral crime.