A thread about pancakes & pandemic. During lockdown we had an art party on the bathroom door. (things were weird, ya?). Recently I added this message to Matt, who had some stress about re-emerging...

We all go where we have to go to survive, and to work, but beyond that?

DO NOT RETURN TO THE WORLD UNTIL YOU’RE READY. /

It is OK to re-emerge slowly. Or come back changed. Or filled with anxiety & rage.

The vaccine is making its way into arms but we have not had a chance to act holistically in regards to the massive collective trauma of the pandemic. I see it in the eyes of doctors & nurses /

I see it in the eyes of our neighbors who have trouble forming words without drifting off & staring at the sky. I see it in little children clutching their moms, afraid to look anyone in the eye. And I see it in the mirror /

So I just want to say that it’s OK to not be OK. We spent the last year trying to stave off disaster. Our every movement had a searchlight intensity. And the searchlight is still roving around the landscape looking for danger. The vaccine is only the first step /

Anyway just to prove that we’re all still kind of “in it” here is a leftover pancake from first weekend of lockdown March 2020. It just didn’t get eaten, then had pancake rigor mortis, then it just stayed the same for a year and a month. /

See that bottle of green tea? I took that from the fridge at Roku in early April when I went in to get my stuff from my desk. I had to get written permission from our VP to go to the office. I drank most of it and then...couldn’t throw it away. “When the pandemic is over.” /

tldr: we’re all a little effed in the head & you don’t have to be fine. Don’t hurt yourself, don’t hurt anyone else, take it from there. Hopefully you have friends or family who will help you cope, or do unspeakable favors like the one @dianebeasley did for me today. /

if you can afford it, or you have healthcare that covers it, it’s really important to talk to a therapist or other doctor. It’s just like fixing a car engine. We might be able to identify the problem, but you don’t need to be the one to get under the hood. (Unless that helps)

And if you can’t afford it, then we need to rally to make therapy affordable or better yet FREE.

This thread brought to you by, among several other events today, a terrified raccoon hurtling down our driveway, chased by a crow. The raccoons fuzzy tail was bare & it had a haunted frantic look...

The raccoon cut a hard right into the bushes and moments later I could hear it thundering over our roof like a demented Santa. Anyway all this is to say I recognized the look.