ah i want to talk about me2. specifically, i want to talk about the unexplored horror aspect of me2. this is going to be a long thread but does anyone expect any different from me

i've been thinking about it a lot lately because of my fic (which is not even set during me2 but whatever) but both the game and the fandom really does not adequately discuss...how horrifying me2 actually is for shepard

the game itself glosses over it - no surprise considering the game also glosses over shep's literal death - and i'm too lazy to back all this up with sources (but just. talk to everyone on your ship. explore the area during missions. none of this is info that's hard to come by)

but it is literally canon that there are bugs all over the ship. mordin mentions it, tali mentions it. edi point blank admits to it, and further admits that she collates that data and sends it to the illusive man

kelly will admit to you in me3 that she was spying on you on the illusive man's behalf, that she would send regular psych evals of you to him. miranda also admits that she reports directly to the illusive man about your progress

you find out on cronos station that the illusive man intentionally recruited chakwas and joker so you would have "friendly faces"; i wouldn't be surprised if that's the reason he allows garrus, too, and ultimately tali

but it's worth mentioning that when you first bring up the possibility of recruiting tali - when it's a decision you want to make yourself, of your own free will - he shoots you down and says that he has to research it more

and that's true of all of your squadmates. you recruit only who the illusive man allows. you ultimately do only what the illusive man wants. there are two notable exceptions (grunt and legion) but dw, i'll address that later

in the comics, the illusive man sends rasa (maya brooks in citadel dlc) to the citadel to obtain information on you to help with project lazarus. she's caught and almost killed; the spectres and the council learn that cerberus has some sort of interest in shepard

upon finding this out, the illusive man is not concerned but instead actively welcomes their scrutiny

fast forward ahead to me2 when you meet with the council - they already know you're w cerberus, they already have an idea about you in your head, they say your actions are treasonous. but like: who told them all of this? how did they find out you're with cerberus to begin with?

on horizon, the vs brings this up too: they've heard rumors you're with cerberus. but horizon is in act one of the game. the vs has presumably been stationed there for as long as you've been awake, if not longer - so how they'd hear about that?

after horizon, you can talk to tim and he'll tell you. he will flat out admit that he spread rumors you were with cerberus. and anderson will corroborate that this is why the VS was on horizon. not to investigate you, but cerberus - but you are now inextricably tied to them

in lotsb, you learn the alliance wants to detain shep bc of this cerb association and the only reason they don't is bc hackett - one fucking person, who is shown time and again to be politically adept (read: would absolutely cave under the right pressure) - stands in the way

also in me2: shepard is treated, without their consent, by cerberus. the woman who led the cell that rebuilds you admits to your face she wanted to control chip you and the only reason she didn't is because she was overruled

miranda - who, reminder! wanted to control chip them - rebuilds shep's body and implants them with cybernetics to help with the process, without their consent. cerberus has a whole fucking file on shepard, a whole invasive, horrifying file, completely without shepard's consent

how do you rebuild someone? i imagine you have to thoroughly understand their body, their biology. you have to see them naked. you have to operate on them naked. you have to study their psych profile. you have to dig deeper than anyone's ever dug before

cerberus has a profile on shepard's that is undoubtedly creepy in its extensiveness - down to things like their last menstrual cycle, the exact size and shape of their genitals and other reproductive organs, how fertile shepard was when they died if they were even fertile at all

because remember, the goal of the lazarus project was to bring back shepard "exactly" as they were. but how can you know exactly what was without learning every single detail about their body?

they would know shepard's brain chemistry, they would have accessed their alliance psych evals (they stole information from the spectres; they definitely did for the alliance, too) to ensure that when they woke up they matched previous known examples of how shep displays trauma

in me2, if you romanced anyone in me1 - oh, would you look at that? you have a picture of them in your cabin, on your desk, already waiting for you. who do you think put that there? how do you think cerberus got that information?

(remember, especially for the VS, your romance is supposed to be a secret.) again: we're shown that they're not above theft. they're not above hacking. what other data of yours is safe? is any of it?

so, you know, on that note: do you really think it's a coincidence that the illusive man picks the VS to be collector bait on horizon? do you think it's a coincidence he tries to off them on mars?

is it, perhaps, just a possibility, that he knows they are important to shepard (regardless of romanced status) and he is using that to his advantage? that he is weaponizing shepard's feelings for the VS against them, because he has that information?

like, to summarize: shepard is surrounded by them. they are cut off from former allies; they are alienated from every other potential avenue of help; they are made reliant on cerberus and only cerberus

they are spied on, 24/7. their ship is outfitted with a literal AI that connects to their omni-tool and hardsuits and also everywhere else on the ship. the illusive man puts them on a leash and holds them very, very close

shepard does not make choices in me2. they only have the illusion of a choice. the first choice that shepard is actually able to make without the illusive's man consent is what to do with the collector base - and that is why he gets so very angry if you destroy it

it is the only time in the entire game he didn't have you under his control, and if there is one thing timmy is, it's a grade-A control freak

(well that and bc he has a very specific vision of the future and shep just fucked that up. but still: control freak)

(you could argue that overlord dlc is also a decision outside tim's control, which is why i think it makes the most sense post-me2 with a few adjustments and rewritten scenes - but if you do play it pre-endgame: tim is also pragmatic)

(and i do think he accounted for shepard doing things like ending project overlord - or waking up a krogan tankbaby, or waking up an inactive geth - because remember, this dude has a whole fucking, extensive profile on you)

(he knows what to expect of you. so that's all to say: it's still the illusion of choice, and that's why he still sends you his condescending follow up letters where he assures you it was your decision and he doesn't mind)

(it's just another way to tell shepard: it wasn't, really. bc we see how he reacts when something actually is shep's decision, or miri's, or anyone else's decision that he can't control. i.e., you are no longer useful to him. you are now a threat, and you're better off dead)

me2 is an absolute fucking horror show, from body horror to psychological horror. what cerberus does to shepard is one of the most fucked up things you can ever do to a person. and none of this is taken seriously, because heaven forbid shepard actually be outplayed, right?

heaven forbid shep be manipulated, or forced under anyone's thumb, that's just not possible! shep is infallible and god-like. and that's why so many me2 analyses are so fucking boring! shepard is just a person

and in me2, they are isolated and put on a leash and that's why blowing up the collector base is so fucking satisfying

side note to all of this: this is also why i have a hard time seeing shepard romance anyone in me2, or warming up to any of the crew the way they can in me1 and me3. how do you foster friendship, let alone romance, under these conditions? but anyway

me2 has a lot of flaws, one of them being the fact they set up one of the most fucked up situations in the trilogy and then don't give it the gravity or attention it actually deserves. (i mean: you can't even meaningfully confront liara over her part in this)

but the potential of all of it is very, very interesting to me and it's inseparable from how i play me2 with my canon renegade shep. and wow, i know i said this was gonna be long but i didn't expect it to be that long. oops. anyway the end