It is forever wild to me that people who aren't fat (and have never been fat) will argue with fat people about what is or isn't anti-fat behavior.

It's very human to want to defend our good intentions, but often those "good intentions" are rooted in bias or thoughtlessness.

When a fat person points out that they've been hurt by a thin person's bias/thoughtlessness, it's bizarre to argue that they weren't actually hurt.

Comments that state or imply that fat people aren't or shouldn't be hurt:

- "It was just a joke, lighten up."
- "That's not fat shaming."
- "That's not anti fat, it's pro health."
- "You're so sensitive."
- "Stop making everything about you."

Fat people don't have a hair trigger about anti-fatness--we have years of experience learning to detect and deflect it, often out of necessity to access basic health care, keep our jobs, etc. That's real world experience that people who haven't been fat simply don't have.

Of course it feels like garbage to hurt someone else. We don't want to believe we can hurt other people. But we do. When we do, it's on us to apologize, make amends & move on. Too often, people who aren't fat argue that fat people aren't allowed to be hurt. It's deeply shitty.