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I& #39;ve been thinking a lot about the tougher interpersonal dynamics from my old career, and wanted to share some lessons learned. That& #39;s not to claim I& #39;m great at any of this (most of it was learned from failures), but maybe it& #39;s helpful, and not just self indulgent platitudes.
1. Compromise, but not on your reputationâor worseâyour integrity. I spent a career navigating complex tradeoffs and rarely got the exact outcomes I wanted, but I made progress on what I believed in and never put my effort or name behind anything that conflicted with my values.
2. Don& #39;t drink the Kool-Aidâ˘. Be honest in assessing your side& #39;s decisions and motivationsâand build team cultures that encourage introspection. Don& #39;t assume that you& #39;re in the rightâor will be perceived as suchâbecause that path leads to misguided zealotry and appeals to spite.
3. Agree or disagree, but either way commit. Don& #39;t fall into the passive-aggressive trap of relitigating a decision that& #39;s been made. New information is a different story (see #2), but absent that, either commit to the decision or commit to an exit from the situation (see #1).
4. Opposition â Enemy. I don& #39;t have many regrets, but most involve the times I opted for a "sick burn" or otherwise demonized the other side in a conflict. On the other hand, some of my greatest accomplishments involved resisting that urge, and finding a productive compromise.
5. Trust but verify. Give people an honest chance to independently prove themselves, and put in the effort to accurately assess. I& #39;ve slipped up on both ends of this oneânot giving a chance in the first place, or getting burned by not following up to verify when I should have.
6. Know the boundaries of your expertise. I& #39;ve fallen for the mirage of an easy answer to a hard problemâwhen really I was just out of my depth. I& #39;ve also had such misconceptions aimed at me. Productive engagement means admitting what you don& #39;t know, and leaving space for nuance.
