(1) Christians with sudden long term illness or injury face a doubly difficult dynamic. On one hand, accepting one's circumstances is a critical step in healthy processing. In fact, refusal to accept horrible circumstances often exacerbates and prolongs the emotional pain.

(2) Living out the lyrics: "Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, 'It is well, it is well with my soul'" or as Job said, “Though He slay me, I will trust Him" (13:15) is a sign of genuine Christian maturity.

(3) On the other hand, Jesus taught us to expect miracles. We are called to pray for and believe for divine healing. To a degree, these two options can seem to be somewhat contradictory.

(4) In fact, sometimes, when one does accept a horrible circumstance or diagnosis, others will be subtly (or even overtly) rebuke them, (as if they have chosen to be sick or desire to be so). Thus beyond being sick, folks can heap guilt or shame onto them.

(5) Praying year after year for a miracle without a response from heaven can be emotionally exhausting.

(6) So there is an admitted tension here. Its very difficult to walk out, but it's so important that as Christians we learn to be very sensitive to the various difficult dynamics playing out in others lives.

(7) I'd suggest that the best way to approach anyone suffering is to simply tell them you love them, pray for them, and ask if there is anything practical that they need. No pressure. No advice.

(8) Finally, thanks again to everyone who has been praying for my wife. Many of y'all have demonstrated the love of Jesus to us in a profound way. The support we've received from close friends to complete strangers has brought us to tears several times. Blessings, all.