Why do none of my family members take me seriously... and they wonder where my low self-esteem comes from https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥰" title="Smiling face with 3 hearts" aria-label="Emoji: Smiling face with 3 hearts">

It’s funny bc recently I had to go on a diet to manage my pcos and they always act surprised when I say I cant eat certain foods https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙂" title="Leicht lächelndes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Leicht lächelndes Gesicht"> but every time I bring up my condition or my positive results from the lifestyle changes thus far, they say that I keep repeating the same thing https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤩" title="Vom Star geblendet" aria-label="Emoji: Vom Star geblendet">

Idk if I’m the crazy one but damn it sucks when the ppl you love aren’t trying to understand you https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😔" title="Nachdenkliches Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Nachdenkliches Gesicht"> like I know I need to have thicker skin, but I’ve become so jaded from my issues being brushed off... and I’m stressed about finding a job bc I got loans to pay off+

+and honestly I feel being unemployed is annoying my family too https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😞" title="Enttäuschtes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Enttäuschtes Gesicht"> aside from applying for stuff, there’s not much I can do to change my circumstances https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤷🏻‍♀️" title="Achselzuckende Frau (heller Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Achselzuckende Frau (heller Hautton)"> I pray for patience and strength but it feels so painful sometimes to know that I’m just a waste of space to my family https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥲" title="Smiling face with tear" aria-label="Emoji: Smiling face with tear">

I know that there are ppl with struggles far worse than mine and I often feel guilty for feeling bad about these things https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😔" title="Nachdenkliches Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Nachdenkliches Gesicht"> but I can’t help it... when I was around 8, I used to wish that I could disappear into thin airhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😶" title="Mundloses Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Mundloses Gesicht">I think that’s when my self-hatred began https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💔" title="Gebrochenes Herz" aria-label="Emoji: Gebrochenes Herz">

Bc of my hormonal imbalance, I was really depressed for a long time but any time I asked for help I was made to feel like it was my fault for making a big deal out of something - let me tell you something, it’s really hard to control panic attacks https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😓" title="Gesicht mit kaltem Schweiß" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit kaltem Schweiß"> +

+ my mental health plummeted and I couldn’t bring myself to look into a mirror without crying. Alhamdulilah I am way past this now but I feel as though I haven’t properly healed. We all have insecurities, but I’ve come to realise that mine are deeper than I initially believed.

I don’t want to be my worst enemy. Bc all of my resentment and bitterness towards myself bounces to other ppl and I can’t live like that. I want to reignite old dreams I once had before I allowed other ppl to scare them away from my head.

Well, I’m probably gonna delete this in the morning but whoever finds this thread... I’m genuinely sorry for killing the good vibes https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😅" title="Lächelndes Gesicht mit offenem Mund und Angstschweiß" aria-label="Emoji: Lächelndes Gesicht mit offenem Mund und Angstschweiß">