If you grew up in a toxic environment, you may find yourself always being defensive,not trusting anyone or not being able to express emotion & this is what helped you to survive. It's time to tell your inner child that you are safe now, so that you can step out of survival mode.

This is obviously a process, you need to realise that you developed these traits to survive your childhood, for example, if you can't feel you can't hurt, if you are always getting attacked you have to defend yourself. If you don't let anyone in they can't hurt you etc.

It's going to take some time, for your inner child to understand that he/she is safe now and can now let go of these survival methods, understanding this means you are not hard on yourself for having these traits, you understand their purpose and you can let them go -

So that you can live a full life. You can thank them for serving and protecting you and you release them slowly, as you unlearn and affirm yourself.

There are other traits as well that I did not mention, the key thing is to understand that some of the traits we judge ourselves for having were developed as a result of trying to survive the environment we are in, there are parts of you that still feel unsafe, or unheard.

Understanding these parts rather than judging them helps us approach our healing journey with compassion. It could be deciding to be quiet because when you spoke you got in trouble. Understand why and when those traits developed in the first place.