Today is my last day of #paidleave for the birth of my son. I’ve been off for six weeks, and I’m so thankful for the time to bond, co-parent and start to figure out this new phase of life.

You know what’s messed up — the fact I feel so thankful in the first place.

When Ellie got pregnant, an inevitable question from others came up about my leave. When I told folks it was six weeks, everyone was always so impressed, especially for a dad. It always bothered me a bit. Being a Dad is a critical job, and it should be treated as such.

Some friends of ours have had kids this year too. One dad got two weeks. Another, just a few days. Again, I feel incredibly lucky to have six weeks, but that feeling makes me so mad! The United States is so far behind on it’s important role in supporting kids and families.

The US is the only highly developed country without a federally mandated paid family leave program. We’re one of the only five countries in the world without one. Japan provides over a year off for new parents. Even North Korea gives 180 days.

We are in an extremely fortunate situation where my wife’s leave (only due to her emergency c-section) will go into the summer, which as a teacher, she has off. I’m also still working from home at my job, so in a pinch, I can do a bottle or change a diaper. Very lucky.

We don’t have to put Theo into daycare yet. I can’t imagine what it would feel like if we were both back to work tomorrow. It would be a nightmare, which I’m aware that a majority of families have to endure far too early. Ours will be in August. We are again fortunate.

But, last night the baby didn’t sleep well. Ellie has been sleeping poorly the last few days, so I took the majority of the night next to the bassinet. I hobbled out to the living room at 1a to rock him to sleep, and then got up very early to do the same, so she could sleep.

Tonight, that’s not an option. My job requires me to be very attentive to detail. I will need more than just a few hours of sleep. I have to be on my A-game, every day. Things will get harder for her, and my guilt will increase.

I suppose this rambling, exhaustion-laced thread is an effort to say that our nation is failing families. National politicians, especially on the right, continue to talk about the importance of families, yet block efforts at a national paid family leave program at every turn.

I’m here to tell you that as a new dad, my eyes are open to our nation’s failings, and I plan to do what I can to fight for what American families need and deserve.

Here’s hoping my eyes can stay open when I log in to my work laptop tomorrow.

#paidleave #paidfamilyleave